38 1/2 weeks!

Sean wanted to take a picture of us last night, "since you'll be in labor tomorrow." He keeps saying stuff like that and it takes me a second every time. What??!! How do you know?? Oh. You're kidding. Mostly. :) He's convinced Chloe's arrival is imminent! We happened to get a picture of the two of us the night before Caleb was born (the night my parents arrived in Colorado!), so we're hoping to replicate that, but of course labor is hard to predict before it actually arrives. I've been having a fair amount of discomfort and "pressure" as the baby's head pushes on my cervix and my hips loosen up. I've also been sleeping in a lighter state lately, probably in preparation for frequent wakings to come. All those indications mean she's probably coming soon! I'm grateful we live about eight minutes from the hospital.... instead of a 45-minute trip just to the gate at Fort Carson, where Caleb was born. (We also don't have to worry about snow or ice on the way there this time, which is nice.) It will be interesting to see how L&D #2 goes. I'm trying not to have firm expectations, just hoping to stay relaxed and confident. People keep saying the second/succeeding labors are much faster than the first one, but I also know every labor is different and complications are always possible. We shall see. God is sovereign and good. My goal is to trust Him and be a good laborer. :)

37 weeks.... a.k.a. Let The Countdown Begin!

37 weeks!

Today, I am thankful to have made it to "full term" with this pregnancy. I know there is no guarantee for tomorrow, and my experiences with miscarriage have made me realize even more how precious new life is. Each day is a gift, and I may not know what lies ahead, but I can appreciate Today, while it is here.

Today, I am thankful for heartburn and hip pain and backache... because they remind me that this physical life is temporary, and imperfect. It would be easy to think I control my own destiny if everything always went perfectly. It would also be easy to take good health and freedom of movement for granted, if they were always available to me.

Today, I am thankful for my wonderful husband, who knows me well and accepts me nonetheless. (And he's pretty good at understanding and encouraging me, too!)

Today, I am thankful for the "fires" of adversity, because they have begun to refine me, and those I love.

Today, I am thankful that God is faithful to keep His word, He is sovereign to accomplish His plans, and He is all-wise to orchestrate all things for His glory.

Today, I am thankful that God meets all our needs.

Today, I am thankful that His grace is sufficient for me.

Today, I am thankful for a sweet little blond-headed boy, who causes me to fall on God's grace often, and who gives the best hugs and kisses. He is affectionate, friendly, social, imaginative, and silly. What a gift.

There are many more gifts I could name, but I am tired and need a nap. :) So I will be back soon!

Three Years!

Three years is...

...shorter than a high school or college 'career.'

...less time than a typical (four-year) military assignment.

...longer than it takes to earn a master's degree (usually).

...longer than it usually takes to earn an associate's degree.

...shorter than the span from one Winter Olympics to the next.

Three years is how long Sean and I have been married! In some ways it feels like a lifetime; in others, like it has flown by in a moment. October 17, 2009 was an amazing day: the start of our life together. I'm really glad God brought us together. :)

Here are some stats of our last three years:
8 trips to Hawaii to see Nalani
5 trips to CA to visit family
5 camping trips (I think)
4 "homes" in first 6 months of marriage
4 TDY's (business trips) for Sean (I think)
3 10k races
3 beautiful kids
3 Christmases
2 miscarriages
2 moves
2 tours, at Schriever and Vandenberg
2 sinners in 1 marriage
2 out-of-state weddings of friends
2 big promotions for Sean, 1st Lt and Capt
2 garage sales
1 mortgage :)
1 major car accident
1 trip to Alaska to see Nalani
1 death in the family, Sean's granddaddy
1 "century ride" (Sean rode a bike 100 miles, better him than me!)

It's been a busy three years! I asked Sean if everyone's first few years of marriage are that full, and he didn't think so. We've done a lot of traveling. Caleb has been on either 14 or 15 plane trips in his short life-- I have just about lost track (obviously)! God has been so faithful along the way. I never could have anticipated, on our wedding day, where we would be now. But I wouldn't trade any of it, even the painful parts, because I know God has used them to grow us, refine us, and reveal more of Himself to us. I love my husband more than I did when we got married, and I can't imagine life without him.

We are looking forward to the next 30 or 50 years!

Settling In

We have been in California for exactly three weeks now, and are settling in well. So far we have partaken in several Central Coast specialties, though we haven't taken a single picture:

San Luis Obispo Farmer's Market - one of the oldest and largest farmer's markets in CA, with an average of 10,000 people weekly. Lots of fresh fruit, restaurant stands, live music and entertainment (bands, jugglers, balloon animals, etc.) and random protestors warning of genetically-modified corn or quoting Bible verses. (You can even register to vote at one of the booths...)

Avila Beach - Caleb LOVED the water and let the waves come up over his legs. He didn't want to leave! He's getting much better about tolerating sand on his feet too. There's also a nice playground with slides and swings. We enjoyed lunch at a place called the Hula Hut, with amazing salads, sandwiches, and wraps (and clam chowder!). It was a beautiful, sunny day. Sean and I threw around our frisbee a little bit-- I can still bend over to pick it up okay, but I can tell those days are numbered as my tummy gets bigger! The seagulls rifled through our paper bag of snacks while we were down at the water! The bag was pretty much demolished, and they ate some bread and who knows what else. Ooops. A beautiful day all around.

Bonfire/BBQ at Grover Beach - Sean's squadron held a social event there last Friday night, and it was neat to meet new people (and reconnect with a few people I knew when I worked with the Training Group on base three years ago-- some of the current squadron members were my students when I taught in the Group!) It was a gorgeous day, warm enough for short sleeves, with an amazing sunset to finish off the evening. In central-coastal CA, you always bring a sweatshirt to the beach, even in the middle of the day, in case it is "socked in" or foggy. But we didn't need our hoodies! I ate way too much tri-tip and chicken, but it was just so good! A place in Lompoc called Floriano's catered the main dish (ie. the meat) and it was amazing. I ate about half a chicken, I think. I "helped" Sean with his plate after he was done, too. There were a bunch of other little kids that Caleb played with, which was fun! He had sand EVERYWHERE... made for a fun bathtime (and a very sandy tub).

local farmer's markets - most of the farmers provide organic produce and it's a fun experience to wander among the canopies and enjoy free samples of peaches, strawberries, or grapes. Haven't bought squash, local honey, flowers, lettuce, artisan bread, or tomatoes there yet. :) Mom and I (and Caleb) went this past Wednesday and got some nectarines, white peaches, apples, and strawberries. YUM!

~~

There are many, many places and things we want to rediscover as a family, introducing Caleb to places Mommy and Daddy went when they were just getting to know each other four years ago. We met in October of 2008, so we'll be coming up on "anniversaries" like becoming an item (Jan. 25, 2009), first date, first Valentine's Day, first kiss (that date's a secret!), engagement, first "I love you," etc. I enjoy reminiscing about stuff like that.

Here are some of the places we want to go, with or without Caleb:

Oso Flaco Lake hike

Avila Valley Barn (with pick-your-own fruit and petting zoo for Caleb!)

Point Sal hike - one I've done many times, with various friends

Montana de Oro State Park - one of our favorite places to hike and camp

Jalama Beach - we camped there with friends during Thanksgiving '09, before we were even dating!

Splash Cafe in Pismo Beach - famous for their clam chowder in bread bowls, it's not uncommon to see a line of people snaking out the door and around the corner of the building, waiting for chowder or fish and chips.

~~

We have also been able to have a couple different people over for dinner-- on Sunday we had over Sean's coworker Jon, who just PCS'd here too (with Italian sausage/zucchini/tomato pasta and amazing oatmeal chocolate-chip cookies).... and Tuesday night, our friend Melanie who lives next door now (Mexican stuffed shells, Greek salad, and fresh fruit).

It's been a busy couple of weeks! All the boxes in the garage are at least opened, though we will need to go through several of them and pare down (i.e. get rid of junk). We have lots and lots of linens we aren't using, and I figure someone else could be using them RIGHT NOW. How many twin comforters do we need, anyway??? We have two twin beds... and about five comforters. I am determined to consolidate my mementos into one large tub: whatever doesn't fit, goes... and if I want to add something new, I will need to make room or get rid of something else. Right now I have several medium-size tubs of various memento items... and numerous shoe boxes with every birthday card, recital program, and wedding invitation I've ever received (or so it seems)! Yesterday I worked through two smallish moving boxes, and it felt quite liberating to go from two cardboard boxes full, to a shoebox of small papers and blank, usable notepads.

We have had some good quality time with Mom and Dad-- especially since they have laundry facilities and internet! ;) We finally got our wireless stuff figured out, thanks to the Comcast guy.... still waiting to buy a washer and dryer until we get our move money sorted out with the military. We've enjoyed some awesome meals at their house and good hang-out time. Sean likes all the meat Mom cooks in her meals. :) My penny-pinching, meat-stretching ways have been found out! (But as long as Sean is okay with upping our food budget, and he is, I am okay with cooking with more meat.) Caleb frequently asks for "Grammy cars," "Grammy hold you," and "see Papa?" We are really grateful to be near family, and not just for the free babysitting. :)

Caleb has been doing okay in his toddler bed. We have been trying it out since we moved, with varying results. The first few nights he did great! Now, occasionally he'll get up multiple times during the night... or come super early to our room and say something adorable like, "Daddy sleeping? Hello, Daddy," or my favorite, "Come out, Mommy? Mommy breakfast, please?" It's such a weird experience to hear something cute like that when you are soooo not fully awake yet, and wishing you could sleep some more. Part of me does enjoy his cuteness and treasures it away, and part of me is just very, very tired. He's been getting up at 6:30 most days this week... so I have too, for the most part. I realize that some people may not consider 6:30 to be excessively early, but I am admittedly not a morning person... and not really a night owl either. I'm more of a 9 a.m.-9 p.m. person! HA! Especially while pregnant....

Today he played with my night-table items until about 7:20, when I finally got up. The last few days this week at nap time, he has made a game out of seeing how many times Mommy will put him back in his bed! On Wednesday I lasted about an hour before giving up and letting him out to play. He was fine, in a cheerful mood the rest of the day, though yawning more than normal. Mommy was the grumpy one, from not getting her nap and her wishes being defied! Off and on I have been having difficulty sleeping lately (thankfully, it's not every night). One night I woke up at 4 a.m., wide awake, and just read on the couch until the day really started (we don't have a table lamp in the bedroom yet so I went in the other room to let Sean sleep). I've had some leg cramps and limb discomfort that keep me awake, or wake me up. But it makes me even more grateful when I do get good sleep. I am grateful too that I can safely enjoy a cup of coffee, and can stomach the taste/smell of it. During the first trimester, you aren't supposed to drink coffee, or consume caffeine from any source, really, because they think it might increase your chance of miscarriage-- I'm not sure how strong the link is between the two, but hey, it's worth refraining just in case. For awhile there (and I do love me my morning coffee!) I would make a cup, then take about two sips before not being able to drink any more. Thankfully, now I can enjoy it again, for whatever reason.

Anyway.... all that to say, I am usually tired at any point in the day, and trying to enjoy what free time I have, when Caleb is playing nicely with cars or trains, because I know those days are numbered. Soon, even if The Toddler is gainfully occupied, there will be an infant needing a feeding or a changing or a burping! It's still hard to believe. Even with feeling and looking increasingly pregnant, I still can't quite fathom the fact that there will be a new baby in our lives in less than four months. It will come soon enough, so I want to enjoy time with "just Caleb" as much as I can. Even if I am tired and NOT a fan of battles of wills.

It's really been a challenge for me lately, the stage he is in! I don't mind the outright kicking and screaming when he doesn't want to leave the park/beach/playground.... I just pick him up and away we go. Either other people will understand, or they won't. I am getting less and less worried about what other people think about my screaming child. The big tantrum is somehow easier to deal with because at this point I can somewhat control the outcome (by picking him up and walking away, or strapping him in his car seat, etc.) I don't try to reason with him or "ask nicely" for him to obey; I just "help" him obey. What gets my goat is the mischievous look he gets on his face when he is testing the boundaries, or the times he intentionally disobeys! He knows what we want him to do, and he does the opposite. Or throws food on the floor right after I just told him that was not okay. Repeatedly. That is the most tiring aspect of parenting, I think. Reinforcing things over and over. And staying patient when it is messy or exhausting or frustrating. It points us back to Christ, because we are not adequate for the task. He can help us, and give us wisdom, for which I am so thankful.

And now I am off to rest while Caleb naps! I lowered the mattress on the crib today, from the "infant" setting to "keeps in toddlers." He and I tried starting his nap in his bed today... then when he got up five minutes after I left, into the crib he went. He fussed for about five minutes, and is now quiet. I am totally okay with going back to the crib for awhile. There is no rule that says a child has to sleep in a toddler bed by a certain age, or ever. He will get more, better sleep this way... I will get a little time to rest or be otherwise productive. We are both happy when he wakes up-- win win!

Changes...

We've had some big changes in our family lately, and I'm not sure I've shared them with everyone, so here goes!

On May 15th, we got to see an ultrasound of a healthy, wiggly 9-week old baby in my tummy.

On May 21st, we got notified that we are PCSing to California this August.

New baby, new move, all in one week! I have a separate post journaling my thoughts on the pregnancy each week (shocked! scared! frustrated! cautiously optimistic! waiting! thrilled!), and will post that soon. I am currently about 19 weeks along, and feeling kicks more and more now! It's been a ride. I'll save the rest for the actual baby post. :)

On the other "big news" front, we will be moving in about two weeks. The last several weeks since we found out have flown by, as I knew they would. We are making progress on nailing things down-- we have a house to rent in Santa Maria, we have scheduled the packers to come-- but we still have some big items to finish: the back patio project that's about 43% complete :), finding renters for our home here in Colorado, etc. I am working at trusting God with the details, trusting Him to give us wisdom in doing our part in accomplishing those things. We are thankful for God's provision in so many ways. It will be an adventure, for sure.

It's very bittersweet to be leaving Colorado. It's our first home in our married life, the place Caleb was born, where we bought our first house, where many of our dear friends are, where beautiful mountains surround us. We love it here, and it has truly become "home." We know God has new plans for us, but it's okay to grieve the loss of a good thing, too. Colorado has been a very good thing for us.

I am excited about the trip to California-- we plan to stop by a few scenic locations along the way! I have wanted to see Arches National Park near Moab, Utah for a long time-- since we got married, really. I did a report on the park in sixth grade (which we realized recently was 15 years ago! yikes), and it's always kind of stuck with me as a place I'd like to see someday. We didn't stop by on our way from California to Colorado three years ago after we got married.... so now we are going to go see it! The other scenic place we plan on seeing is Maroon Bells, Sean's big dream. :) He really, really wanted to do a four-day backpack trip this summer along a 28-mile trail called Four Pass Loop, but it never worked out. Maroon Bells is a group of peaks that are "among the most-photographed scenes in Colorado." If you see a picture of Colorado, it's probably Maroon Bells. So we are going to spend our first night of the roadtrip in Aspen, CO, which is near Maroon Bells... and our second night near Arches. Very exciting. We'll see how Caleb does with all the driving!

So our life right now is quite busy and different! I am so glad to have my little (growing) family with me. God has been very good to us, in the midst of trials and challenges. He is always there, always faithful, always good.

The Spa at the Broadmoor (Mother's Day, Part Two)

I was definitely pleased with our exquisite dinner date at the Mona Lisa, and thought Sean did an A+ job of celebrating our first Mother's Day. I had worked hard at not getting my expectations up. (Ok, so I hung a Mother's Day card I got from my mom on the fridge, but that's it! Didn't hint or remind in any other way.) Holidays like that tend to be more important to women than to men, and I realize it's just not on their radar most of the time. We rarely eat out, so it was a real treat to go to a fancy place. I felt cherished and special, and didn't expect anything else....

...but one day, I discovered a few mystery entries on our calendar for the Wednesday following Mother's Day: "10am Brkfst @ Lake Terrace," and "1140-1250 Swedish massage." Hmm.... I didn't want to assume it was for me. But when I first saw the calendar, Sean was sleeping after a mid shift (11pm-7am), so I couldn't ask him. When he did wake up, he asked me to go add his upcoming PT test to our calendar, at which point I said, speaking of calendars... and he confirmed those mystery appointments were for us!

Turns out, Sean had arranged another treat for us to celebrate Mother's Day, and secretly wrote it on the calendar to see when I would notice it. (He didn't wait very long for me to notice it, though! I discovered it the morning after he wrote it, and he brought it up, albeit circuitously, the first time we talked after he had written it sneakily. Anyway....)

The Lake Terrace is a fancy-shmancy restaurant at the old Broadmoor Hotel, an historic haven tucked away in the outskirts of Colorado Springs. The Lake Terrace boasts a gorgeous view of "the grounds" and the namesake lake, all meticulously groomed and landscaped. When you eat there, you really feel like you should sit up straight and be careful with your cloth napkin and crystal water goblet. There's even a dress code! Minimum: nice jeans, please. Collared shirts or slacks desired. The entire complex is fancy-- from the valet parking, to tapestries and gigantic flower arrangements everywhere inside, to the lush carpets and velvet-upholstered wing chairs cozied up to huge fireplaces, and wicker baskets of little rolled-up terry cloth towels with which to dry your hands in the powder room-- a place frequented mostly by rich-looking older gentlemen and ladies. :)

There also happens to be a spa associated with the Broadmoor Hotel... where Sean scheduled both of us for massages! That is one smart guy I married. What else is he supposed to do while I get my (specially-requested prenatal) massage? The staff members supply you with thick terry robes and rubber slides, along with a locker for your personal items, and there are rooms stocked with lemon- or cucumber-water and fresh fruit, for after the massage (or facial) as you rest on a padded chaise chair and overlook the golf course next to the mountains. It was ultra fancy! After the massage (which was amazing!!), I felt a little lost at times in the women's area, wandering through the aromatherapy rooms, shower and vanity area, and lounge rooms (with fireplace, reading materials, padded arm chairs, and table arrayed with dried fruit and nuts in glass canisters). It was a unique experience, another thing we've never tried before, and I'm pretty sure it cleaned out our "date night/getaway" savings fund... but that's why we have one. We do want to save up for special things like this.


On our way to our massages after breakfast!

Another reminiscing post: Big Sur

The last weekend in March 2009 was a momentous one! We (our group) planned a trip to Monterey/Seaside to participate in the BIG SUR MUD RUN, a five-mile trek through sand and trails and paved road, including pushups and wall obstacles and soldiers yelling at you, an annual event sponsored by the Army. Starting and finishing at CSU Monterey Bay, it was an amazing course!! Lots of energy all around, thousands of people, even a few pirate costumes. :) One of the best experiences ever. Sean and Travis, one of our friends, won in their category (20's military male). Doesn't surprise me; they are pretty studly. I was in the heat prior to theirs, and was hoping they wouldn't catch me too quickly. It was toward the end, but they did catch me, even with a ten-minute head start! I hate the feeling of being chased, and would much rather set my sights on people to pass. But I was definitely happy and proud that they won! I was surprised how yucky I felt only a mile or two into it, even though I'd been training harder, and I actually stopped to walk a few times. Early-morning starts are not the best for my body. But it was a very worthwhile experience nonetheless, and I'm very glad I did it. We were all quite muddy by the end!
The collage below displays pictures from our drive back along Hwy 1, a famously-scenic route along California's coastline. Hopefully I will find pictures of the mud run itself to post soon! Now that we don't live in the Golden State, I am extra thankful we did things like this to enjoy the beauty God has established there.

Packing up!

I had forgotten how much kitchen stuff I had here in CA, packed away from my apartment! Lots of spices and sugar and oil, good staples that I am excited to take to CO. We won't be taking all of it, however! We discovered we have had some "helpers" in the garage... mice who went through my stuff, ate some of it, shredded other bits of it, and left little presents behind, all without my permission. Just thought you'd want to see the carnage! We are making good progress, and will finish packing this afternoon. We plan to load it all onto a truck Monday, then depart for Colorado on Tuesday! Exciting!! It's been overwhelming at times, but my parents are awesome workhorses who just plug away at it, so much so that I feel like I am barely helping! I'm not supposed to lift heavy stuff in my condition, but I still want to contribute (and have... some).

Home, Sweet... Visit

I'm here in California, after flying in yesterday morning! With a 4 a.m. getup for a 6 a.m. flight, it was a long day (about 20 hours by the time I went to bed), but a very good day. Aside from a little turbulence in the tiny plane from LAX to SMX, it was a smooth trip! My wonderful husband packed my bag for me the night before I left (after I laid out all the items on the bed, then crashed on the other side of the bed from exhaustion), and prepared me a nice eggs-and-toast breakfast that morning, and drove me to the airport. He is amazingly good to me, and I am so thankful for him. So privileged to be married to him! My parents picked me up at the airport, and I lost it, almost sobbing in my mom's arms. Mostly because I threw up as we landed (glad it was at the very end!), but also because I was overcome with being "home." It's funny how attached you can become to a place, but I must admit I got a little teary-eyed when I first caught the Pacific in my window when we took off from LAX. It is so soothing to see it again, and to recognize the roads from the air as we came in to Santa Maria, and to get reacquainted with the strawberry fields.

Though this has been "home" for so long, since October 1997, it is no longer completely home because Sean is not here. I find that so interesting! It's familiar, but I've changed. I have a "Colorado me" now, and the "single California me" is a chapter in history. We may end up stationed back here, but that is in the future and only God knows where He will lead us in our life-adventure. For now, I am here to pack up all my earthly possessions, including an abundance of wedding presents (yay!!) and transport them to our home in Colorado. I'm no longer concerned with just me; my concerns envelop us. I am excited to visit with dear friends and my wonderful parents, who are uber excited about my arrival.

God's timing is so perfect! We have waited a long time for our house, but now it is spring; things are green and growing, and I am in my second trimester and have more energy. Back home in Colorado Springs, it is spring break this week, so I am not missing any of my normal activities. When I came back to Santa Maria, I observed it's the same here, but not the same. I am glad to sit back and let someone else do the cooking for a few days (I still offer to do the dishes), and am pleased to have a restful-yet-busy visit with people I miss and love. I am still my parents' daughter and always will be, but I am a married, adult daughter now, so our relationship is transitioning a bit. It's good. I am glad to be here for a visit, glad to be out of limbo (hopefully) and moving toward a goal of having our own home to use as a tool for God (and to be able to nest our little family in it!!). We are scheduled to close on the house on April 2nd, but we are still praying and trusting God for the outcome. I am learning it is wise to hold off on getting too excited until things are for-sure, in-writing secure. True security is found only in God, not in material things or earthly events. We are learning so much through this experience; it's been very valuable. I feel older than I was when I left (which I am, five months older). But I feel wiser too, for which I am thankful.

Montana De Oro (Mountain of Gold)

One of our favorite places to hike or camp, Montana de Oro State Park is absolutely incredible. We love that place so much, we did our engagement photos there! On this occasion in March '09, Josh's mom was visiting from Texas and a bunch of us hiked some trails and took some photos. It's really spectacular when you are able to start out at the beach with awesome rocky outcroppings, then ascend 1400 feet to the top of Valencia Peak (bottom row, second from right), through flower-strewn paths rustling with lizards and birds, all the while taking breaks to contemplate the vastness (and the bright blue-ness) of the ocean. Absolutely beautiful day, and awesome memories with our dear friends.

Yesterday Sean and I were marveling at how quickly we made friends in Santa Maria. And what a quality group of people too! We did Bible study AND fun stuff like barbeques and hikes and camping. We really cherish that season and know it's a rare gift we were given. How often do you fall in with a group of people and feel at home right away? How often are you able to share so much of life with people you just met? They really became like a family, and we love 'em and miss 'em.

La Purisima Mission

Over a year ago now, on March 1st, 2009, Sean and I went on a "double date" with my parents to La Purisima Mission, not too far from Santa Maria. It was a beautiful spring day, and we introduced Sean to California missions. I guess he never learned California history in the 4th grade (doesn't everyone learn California history?), where students either constructed a model of one of the 21 missions along the coast, or created a map of CA with all the missions marked. (Salt dough topographical map? Bo-ring!! I made a California cake, with Mom's help.) Somehow I thought that because I had learned California history when I was young, every schoolchild did. Now I wondered, what about all the other states' histories that I was never taught? Am I missing out on important historical details?? Based on how much (or how little) I remember about CA's illustrious history, I'm guessing I can still be a productive adult in society without that knowledge of the other 49 states.

La Purisima boasts stables and a blacksmithy; a replica barracks room showing typical bedding, clothing, and weapons; beautiful herb gardens; and probably a few things I have forgotten. It's been a year since I visited it, after all!

Oh, how I miss my flip flops (or slippers, as Sean calls them). Hopefully we will be able to wear them soon! Miscellaneous revelatory dialectical note: if flip flops are "slippers"... what do you call that wintertime, fuzzy footwear you wear around the house? "House slippers"! I love marriage!

Twelve Weeks

I am twelve weeks along today! Hard to believe there is only one week remaining in the first trimester! The nausea is getting better and I am starting to have more energy (though not consistently, yet). I like peanut butter again, and haven't had any super-strong (or crazy) cravings. :) For a few nights, I woke up after about 5 hours of sleep and couldn't get back to sleep, but the last few nights have been better. All in all it's going well!
As far as how baby's doing: he/she can now suck her thumb, and is developing reflexes! Baby is about 2 inches long, the size of a lime, and weighs half an ounce. This coming week, B will be about the size of a large shrimp! B's kidneys are now excreting urine into his bladder. The hands, with 27 bones connected by ligaments, are structurally complete. His feet, with separated toes and developed heels, are almost fully formed.

CRAZY!!

By the way.... calling the baby "he" and "B" isn't terribly significant. Both our favorite boy and girl names start with C, incidentally. Using gender pronouns is just easier than saying "it," because our baby already has a gender, we just don't know what it is yet! Should we find out the sex at the 20-week ultrasound? We're still trying to decide...

V Day 2010

So... I decided to be sneaky and create a romantic dinner environment for Sean when he got home from work on the thirteenth of February. A little preemption never hurt anyone. :) I took the above picture because that table is very. Very. Heavy. Much heavier than it looks, especially the glass. I took the below picture because I was a little dubious about being able to get the glass back on top of the base, after rolling it from the common area into our bedroom. What was I thinking?

Thankfully, a few Strecker males (landlord family) were home and helped me out after I explained, only a little sheepishly, my plan. I covered the table with a lovely tablecloth Sean's mom got us for Christmas (doesn't look too much like poinsettias on it, does it? Good thing red is also an appropriate color for Valentine's Day).

 

I made a "you and me" slideshow of photos of us throughout our history together, complete with romantic/favorite music of ours.

I got all dolled up and even curled my hair and put on a dress!

For mood lighting: a personalized lantern to shed soft light on our dinner table, honey-vanilla tea light within and others scattered over dresser-tops. This component of the ensemble was also a Christmas gift, this time from Mark and Heather.

Sean was definitely surprised when he got home, and I was giddy to show him. We had a very sweet second V-Day together. I am so grateful he is in my life!

It's a bird... it's a plane....

IT'S A BABY!!!

We are pregnant! Sean and I are so excited. :) We both want lots of kids, if the Lord wills. We can't wait to see what our baby will look like... or rather, WHOM our baby will look like. It's such a privilege and blessing, and we are already blown away at how much we love our baby!

This is our little guy at approximately 10 weeks. He/she already has little fingers and toes, a beating heart (which started around 20 days), organs, teeth buds, circulatory system, developing brain, mouth and tongue, own blood type, eyes and nose, arteries and veins. He/she can wiggle, hiccup, squint, open his jaw, move his tongue, and flex his toes.

What a miracle! We are so thrilled to be able to participate in this act of creation with God, who orchestrates our days! We are trying to remember each day that God has given us this gift, and He is in control. I am doing my best to eat well and take care of my body. That means no more raw cookie dough.... lots of fruits and veggies.... lots of water... no high-risk activities like skiing or high-altitude hiking... and lots of vitamins. We know that no matter what happens, whether our baby is perfectly healthy, or has life-threatening struggles; whether this baby even makes it to full-term and life outside the womb; we know that God is good and sovereign and loves us so much.

Stay tuned for more photos and updates!

Then and now

Well, here I am blogging without a hint of a subject about which to write, and an as-yet blank title field. What have we been up to lately? Hmm... normal, everyday stuff, I suppose. Work for Sean; cooking, cleaning, and laundry for me. :)

For inspiration, I look to my 2009 calendar. I like to record things on my calendar, and have for several years, everything from haircuts to lunch dates to what I had for dinner that day (sometimes, if it was especially delicious).

On this day in 2009...

• ate lunch with Cam and Sean at Cocheo Park at Vandenberg
• went to PT in the afternoon with my squadron, where we had a pushup and situp clinic
• went to Greek class at Grace (a pretty short-lived endeavor, because I was overcommitted and that was something I could drop, so I eventually did)
• Berlin called-- always a nice occurrence. We still keep somewhat in touch, now that she is at Beale AFB in Nor Cal. We appreciate how good she is at calling us-- something I want to work on.
• went grocery shopping, but I assume Sean went with me because there is a smiley face next to it. I actually do not like going grocery shopping, so I was so thankful he went with me. Even now we like to go together!

It is a pretty normal-sounding day, yet it's incredible how much life has changed since then! At the time, I was an instructor in the Training Group at Vandenberg. I had a corner desk in a four-pack of cubicles and had to show up at 7:30 every morning. I packed my lunch the night before, I laid out my clothes for the next day each night, and I carted around binders of lesson plans. I wore slacks or skirts, blazers, and high heels. I wore makeup every day. People knew me as "Ms. Johnston" and I didn't tell them how young I was. I got hundreds of impersonal e-mails from base organizations. I was living in a cute apartment with my roommate Amy, and cooking lots of meals with beans in them until I found out she doesn't like beans. (I still sort of cooked with a lot of beans, and she had to pick them out, oops.) I was going to Bible study with an awesome group of people and we read through Knowing God by J I Packer-- a pretty deep and insightful book.

Now.... I can wear sweats all day if I want to (and sometimes do). I put on just a little makeup before Sean gets home (sometimes), but he calls me beautiful even when I'm not wearing any. I receive no paycheck. I know the blessedness of waking up without an alarm, at whatever time that happens to be each day. I check out books from the library, everything from yoga to nutrition. All my high heels are in storage, or in CA. I rarely plan my next-day wardrobe. My only computer is Sean's laptop, and I don't receive tons of wide-dissemination e-mails.

But before you think I have turned into a super-slob, these things are also true of my world now: my husband comes home to me every night and appreciates the tantalizing aromas filling the house. He puts zero pressure on me to get an outside job. He thanks me for the stacks of clean clothes that "magically" appear in the closet. I do dress up for church on Sundays. People call me "Mrs. Allen" instead of "Ms. Johnston." I feel rested and relaxed much of the time, because I am getting more sleep. I prepare some mean crock pot meals (and stovetop or oven stuff too, but I love my crock pot). I prepare menus and grocery lists. I make it my goal to have the laundry done by lunchtime Monday. I wear boots good for snow, which I encounter whenever I go out. I am learning to budget and be a good steward of our finances. I am learning what it means to be a wife! It's amazing and wonderful, and I am so thankful that is my "job" now. I am thankfu for where I've been, and where we are headed. It's an adventure!

One year ago today...

[From January 25th. I wrote this but didn't have a chance to quite finish it.]

One year ago today, Sean sang me a song that changed our lives! January 25, 2009 was a Sunday. We had gone camping at Montana de Oro, one of our favorite spots to hike and camp, the Saturday night before with our dear friends Amanda and Josh (who happened to both be in our wedding last October). The four of us got up early to watch the sunrise and the waves... then booked it to church an hour away. We made it to the 9 a.m. service, barely stopping by our apartments for tooth-brushing, and in church our hair smelled a bit like campfire smoke. :) Sean texted me that afternoon: in case I chicken out later, the song I wrote [that we talked about yesterday] is for you. In the flickering campfire-light I had casually asked, So, written any songs lately? He said yes, but that he didn't want to play it right then. I assumed he wanted to wait for the "nice" guitar back at home or something. The conversation moved on; little did I know how important this song was going to be to both of us.

Sunday morning I realized I had misplaced my phone in the hubbub of camping and packing up, and was slightly worried it had dropped out of my pocket in the dark at the campsite. I didn't get around to looking for it until about 1 pm Sunday, when I saw his text. (The phone had slid beneath my seat in the car.) I did my thing (laundry and getting ready for the week) and didn't text him back until 4 pm, a tortuous three hours for him. For whatever reason, I thought it was going to be a death-knell song for our friendship. We had gotten in the habit of spending hours together throughout the week, jamming, talking, cooking dinner, and yes, playing Nintendo with his housemates. I don't know who writes a "let's just be friends" song specifically for someone else, my response then definitely seems silly now, but I was very nervous about it. Finally I texted back and we arranged to hang out at his house. The song was amazing and precious, and.... well, in it he told me how he felt about me. Surprisingly, I didn't quite cry, but I was pretty excited. We were attempting to chill and just play random music when I just couldn't sit still any more and asked if he wanted to go for a walk. Elbow in elbow, we walked up and down Miller Street and talked about what this meant for us. For one thing it meant we were officially "together" and people could stop hinting or assuming. :) We also both wanted to pursue a relationship headed toward marriage. So from that point on, it was an adventure. We shared lunch breaks at work (highlight of both our days), left notes on each other's cars, spent time going for runs or hanging out at our respective homes, went to church and Bible study together. We wrote songs together. Sean had weekly lunch "dates" with my dad, which revealed his character and how great a trooper he is! He spent time with my parents and me. We started pre-marital counseling in March, before we were anywhere near to being engaged (our pastor had a six-month program, so we wanted to get a jump on it!).

I am beyond thankful that our path progressed steadily toward that goal of marriage. We never broke up, and we didn't date for years and years (which I think would be torture for anyone). God was gracious to grow our relationship from friends to dating to love and marriage, all within the span of a year. We got married on October 17th, one year and two days from the day we first met. I am still amazed that Sean knew he would marry me from very early on (like in February, after we got together on 25 January!). He is a huge blessing in my life and I honestly cannot imagine life without him, nor do I want to contemplate the thought. I never knew there could be someone to so perfectly match me in goofiness and tender-heartedness. God always knows what He is doing! Sean is my best friend and my strongest supporter. I am his helper and he is my protector. I love cooking for him and listening to him. I love how he is concerned for me and wants to give me gifts that will bless me. I love how our hands fit when they are laced together. I love snuggling or hiking or riding in the car, anything to be near him. I love it when he comes home to me after work. I love the thought of raising a family with him someday.

On this momentous day, January 25th, 2010, with a little tear in my eye I ambushed my sweet guy in the closet after he got home from work and was putting his uniform away. (Thankfully, it's a roomy walk-in closet, so we have space to stand and talk.) I wrapped my arms around his neck, smiled at him and asked if he knew what day it was. He was a little startled, and concerned if I was ok; I don't usually ambush him in an emotional tizzy right when he gets home. :) In a whisper because I couldn't speak, I said, it's January 25th, one year to the day that you sang me that song! Then he knew why I was a little choked up and he gave me a big hug. We have been together a whole year, and what a year it has been. Looking back, it seems like we barely knew each other at that point, but I am sure I will feel the same way in a few years, looking back on 2010. He has trouble remembering his own birthday sometimes, so I don't expect him to remember every little milestone like I do. :) But I wanted to share it with him that day because I care about him and wanted him to know I treasure those memories.

And now you know a little more of our story, if you didn't already. I am looking forward to recollecting milestones that are now an entire year in the past. Hard to believe! I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Here we are camping the night before The Song :)

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

It's been such a nice day! Sean had the day off from work (wooo!) so we have been hanging out ALL DAY! We did laundry (starting at 7:15 a.m., not sure why Sean set the alarm so early, other than his explanation that when you get up early because you want to, it's totally different than getting up early because you have to go to work). While Sean went for a quick run to get ready for his PT test coming up in February, I played my first game of Age of Empires II, our new-to-me computer game that Sean and his brother used to play. After a lunch of amazing leftover spaghetti, we went for a 45-minute walk in a beautiful sunlit day. The sun warmed our backs, while a tiny nip in the air reminded us it was January.

The main reason I wanted to post today was because on this holiday last year (the 19th of January), Sean and I went for a hike to Valencia Peak, part of Montana de Oro State Park in CA. This was before we were officially dating, and a big group of our friends had planned to go. However, everyone else inexplicably had to cancel last-minute (secretly, I wasn't too disappointed. I was already taken by this amazing guy). We decided to still go, and I am so glad we did! That is one of our fondest memories of our earliest days, and it's crazy to think it happened a whole entire year ago! We ate peanut butter sandwiches at the top, took pictures along the way, and just enjoyed talking and being together. It was an amazing day. Later that afternoon, back at his house, we recorded some of the songs we'd recently written together. I remember feeling gritty from the trail, warm from a light sunburn, and incredibly content.

Even now, a picture of us at the peak is sitting on our dresser, as one of the two framed photos I kept out from my move from CA. That is one 'moving tip' I'm glad I followed. It was really nice to unwrap a couple photos from home and have instant "nesting" occur, even in a brand-new, temporary home.

So, Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day! I hope you are able to spend time with someone you love. :)