The Little Cake that Couldn't

Sadly, we have had a high-altitude casualty. I attempted some chocolate-banana bread (CBB), and it did NOT turn out well. It looked fine throughout baking, but when I came back after it had cooled, it had also fallen.... and was super gooey inside. Bumm-er. Sean willingly ate a few slices, but I've noticed the rest is still in the pan a few days later (an extremely long lifespan for desserts around here). I made a dozen mini muffins with part of the batter, and those turned out ok, if a little dry. (Chocolate frosting, anyone?) Those we devoured that same day. A lesson learned! Some recipes don't need modification-- the chocolate zucchini bread I made a few months ago came out just fine, and I've made banana coffee cake as well. I think this CBB recipe had a fluffier consistency that didn't hold up. Someday I'll post something about the science behind why things bake differently "up here" (and why water takes forever to boil), but I will save that for another day! Until then, take a deep breath of your nice, thick air and enjoy your day!

Cheddar Bay Biscuits!

So a couple days ago, we had made spaghetti for dinner, one of our all-time favorite meals, and I was really craving some type of bread to go with it. Unfortunately, I didn't think about that until the noodles were practically done and dinner was imminent. We didn't have any crescent rolls, and I wasn't in the mood for toast. Thankfully, my mom has given me her Cheddar Bay Biscuit recipe (like Red Lobster's biscuits, only better) and it is super quick! I mixed them up, hoping the altitude wouldn't be detrimental, and 10 minutes later we had golden, decadent, buttery, cheesy biscuits. They were amazing, and a little piece of home to complement the other comfort food we got to eat.

Mood swings during pregnancy

I recently read an article from BabyCenter.com that had me going, yes, yes, yes! That is me. Here are a couple excerpts. If you've been pregnant before, you can relate. If you haven't, it will explain a bit what pregnancy can be like. :) I don't want to become so absorbed with this adventure that I fail to care about other people and what they are going through. Just know that I share my life as I see it (our newlywed Colorado life!), and this is a big thing we're experiencing right now.

Pregnancy can be a stressful and overwhelming time. You may be overjoyed at the thought of having a baby one day, and then just as quickly begin wondering what you've gotten yourself into. You may be worried about whether you'll be a good mom, whether the baby will be healthy, and how the cost of adding a child to your household will affect your family's future finances. 

...

You may be worried about putting on too much weight or looking "fat" as your body expands to accommodate pregnancy, while at the same time feeling that you can't exercise as much as you might want to or used to.


Finally, the physical symptoms of pregnancy, such as heartburn, fatigue, and frequent urination, can also be a burden. It's not uncommon to feel like you've lost control over your body and your life during this time. All these concerns may take your emotions on a roller-coaster ride.

Um, yes. I have been particularly messed up the last few days, as in crying for seemingly no reason and really down and in a funk (and experiencing lots of heartburn!). I have been feeling guilty about not exercising, yet I have felt so exhausted I can hardly get daily tasks done. I wonder if I will be patient and kind as a mother, or get exasperated and raise my voice. I wonder how I'll handle the lack of sleep, since I've already learned from college days that I get cranky and/or grumpy more easily when I'm tired. It shortens the fuse. I'm wondering how the transition of early post-partum days will go. I've been struggling with my emotions in general, over- and under-reacting to situations, which affects Sean. I'm hoping and praying that God supplies grace for each moment when I come to it-- I know He will. But it's a huge question mark hovering over the future. I'm a little scared of failure, of messing up, or worse yet, messing up my kid!

I am excited too, because I know it will be an incredible experience. Holding in your arms a wee, separate human being that once lived and developed for months inside you, that you and your spouse helped create-- parts of both of you already visible in a tiny button nose, or maybe the length of the fingers or toes, or the shape of the eyes. Watching a child discover the world, starting with discovering their own hands to suck on, or being captivated by bright colors and fuzzy toys. Being there when they learn to smile, or sit up, or laugh. I can't wait to make my baby laugh and nuzzle my nose into his belly-- mommies and daddies get the best responses, after all. I can't wait to feel her soft cheeks and examine her fingertips one by one, or admire the fine eyelashes that feather her eyes. I know it can be extremely rewarding, and is certainly extremely challenging. It will change our lives forever, and I'm looking forward to maturing more because of it. I'm actually glad pregnancy is so long, because it gives you time to think about things and prepare yourself for them, even if the actual experience ends up being different than you anticipated and planned for, which it invariably is. :)

The only part of the article I didn't completely agree with was the "solutions" to these struggles. Basically, the advice was pamper yourself, be easier on yourself, do things to make yourself happy. While I definitely think it's okay to take naps or give yourself a little slack (especially if you are a driven, competitive person like me), it's not all about me. I have a responsibility to respond correctly to situations, even when dealing with crazy hormones. Love is a choice; obedience to what I know to be true is a choice. I can choose what to think about, even when I feel overwhelmed or "stuck" in a certain mindset. I can choose to be kind to my husband even when he accidentally hurts my feelings, or unintentionally belittles the symptoms I'm dealing with. The presence of hormones is no excuse to sin, frankly. That sounds harsh, but God gives grace for anything, including pregnancy hormones!

The "bond with your partner" advice was good-- share what you're feeling so they can understand (or at least try to understand). I saw this in our life the other day, when we were talking about working out and I mentioned I missed running. (I do wish I had not gotten out of the habit of running when we moved here in October.) Sean said, not uncaringly, "you're not going to get in better shape by not running." Very true, but I then told him, I don't think you understand how tired I have been. He conceded he didn't know what it felt like to be pregnant. :) That day we went for a 30-minute walk with a slight hill at the end, after which I was quite fatigued and promptly laid down when we got home. That helped him see. Hopefully it will get better in the second trimester! I must say Sean is very understanding and our only issues have been very minor (and at least 50% my fault, if not more). He is very sweet, and good about getting me water or snacks, or letting me nap, or rubbing my back. He's the best! More than I could have asked for in a life partner. And I'm excited to get to go on this adventure with him. Can't wait to see him with our baby. I know it's a huge dream of his to have lots of kids. Mine too. :)

Twelve Weeks

I am twelve weeks along today! Hard to believe there is only one week remaining in the first trimester! The nausea is getting better and I am starting to have more energy (though not consistently, yet). I like peanut butter again, and haven't had any super-strong (or crazy) cravings. :) For a few nights, I woke up after about 5 hours of sleep and couldn't get back to sleep, but the last few nights have been better. All in all it's going well!
As far as how baby's doing: he/she can now suck her thumb, and is developing reflexes! Baby is about 2 inches long, the size of a lime, and weighs half an ounce. This coming week, B will be about the size of a large shrimp! B's kidneys are now excreting urine into his bladder. The hands, with 27 bones connected by ligaments, are structurally complete. His feet, with separated toes and developed heels, are almost fully formed.

CRAZY!!

By the way.... calling the baby "he" and "B" isn't terribly significant. Both our favorite boy and girl names start with C, incidentally. Using gender pronouns is just easier than saying "it," because our baby already has a gender, we just don't know what it is yet! Should we find out the sex at the 20-week ultrasound? We're still trying to decide...

Shout Out

A few things, for your attention....

First, if you read this blog regularly, could you post a quick comment, just to say hi? It's always nice to know who's listening on the other end. :)

And second.... notice our new "baby ticker" on the right, just above "about us"! I know almost nothing about HTML code, but was able to copy and paste it into the Blogger template after creating it at TheBump, an offshoot of TheKnot. For any visual people, it shows some progress. Hard to believe I'm almost through my first trimester already!

Thanks! Talk to you soon.

V Day 2010

So... I decided to be sneaky and create a romantic dinner environment for Sean when he got home from work on the thirteenth of February. A little preemption never hurt anyone. :) I took the above picture because that table is very. Very. Heavy. Much heavier than it looks, especially the glass. I took the below picture because I was a little dubious about being able to get the glass back on top of the base, after rolling it from the common area into our bedroom. What was I thinking?

Thankfully, a few Strecker males (landlord family) were home and helped me out after I explained, only a little sheepishly, my plan. I covered the table with a lovely tablecloth Sean's mom got us for Christmas (doesn't look too much like poinsettias on it, does it? Good thing red is also an appropriate color for Valentine's Day).

 

I made a "you and me" slideshow of photos of us throughout our history together, complete with romantic/favorite music of ours.

I got all dolled up and even curled my hair and put on a dress!

For mood lighting: a personalized lantern to shed soft light on our dinner table, honey-vanilla tea light within and others scattered over dresser-tops. This component of the ensemble was also a Christmas gift, this time from Mark and Heather.

Sean was definitely surprised when he got home, and I was giddy to show him. We had a very sweet second V-Day together. I am so grateful he is in my life!

Taco Lasagna!

Taco Lasagna was our Valentine's Day meal (more on that later). It's romantic because we made it together in my apartment while we were dating. Not the fanciest or hardest, but still sentimental and of course yummy.


My ingredients

Cooking the meat and veggie layer

 

The recipe makes two 8x8's, or one 9x13. I opted for 8x8's, so they would fit in our toaster oven for baking. Plus, we were able to cook one that day, and freeze one for later-- definitely a plus to have a dinner ready!

 

 

Ooh, profile shot. Love those layers! It turned out delicious, and we ate it in candlelight, oh yes. Anything can be romantic with the right setting.

It's a bird... it's a plane....

IT'S A BABY!!!

We are pregnant! Sean and I are so excited. :) We both want lots of kids, if the Lord wills. We can't wait to see what our baby will look like... or rather, WHOM our baby will look like. It's such a privilege and blessing, and we are already blown away at how much we love our baby!

This is our little guy at approximately 10 weeks. He/she already has little fingers and toes, a beating heart (which started around 20 days), organs, teeth buds, circulatory system, developing brain, mouth and tongue, own blood type, eyes and nose, arteries and veins. He/she can wiggle, hiccup, squint, open his jaw, move his tongue, and flex his toes.

What a miracle! We are so thrilled to be able to participate in this act of creation with God, who orchestrates our days! We are trying to remember each day that God has given us this gift, and He is in control. I am doing my best to eat well and take care of my body. That means no more raw cookie dough.... lots of fruits and veggies.... lots of water... no high-risk activities like skiing or high-altitude hiking... and lots of vitamins. We know that no matter what happens, whether our baby is perfectly healthy, or has life-threatening struggles; whether this baby even makes it to full-term and life outside the womb; we know that God is good and sovereign and loves us so much.

Stay tuned for more photos and updates!

Homemade Peanut Butter Cups!

These delectable treats were fairly easy to make! Melt some semisweet chocolate chips, milk chocolate bar, and peanut butter for the outer layer... cream together peanut butter, a couple smidges of butter, and confectioner's sugar for the filling... spoon a teaspoon of chocolate into mini muffin papers, add a scant teaspoon of PB mixture, and top with another teaspoon of chocolate. Cool in fridge until set (doesn't take long). How hard can it be?! This recipe is definitely a keeper! Sean loved them, and ate each one in one big gulp.

At bottom left are completed cups; middle/right is the halfway point, and the top left/far right column cups have just the initial dollop of chocolate. Now, they may not be as uniform-looking as Reese's cups... but they definitely taste just as good, if not better! And the recipe made 3 dozen, so we are set for awhile. I asked Sean if he wanted to take some to work, and he replied with an emphatic no. :)

Yummmmmm! Happy Valentine's Day, baby! I love you.

Shepherd Pie

I was in the mood for some shepherd pie a few days ago (so much for making a menu ahead of time), and after looking at a few recipes on allrecipes.com, decided to wing it. Most recipes had similar ingredients, and there seemed to be two main variations: chicken with cream of chicken soup as a base, or beef with tomato sauce and worcestershire sauce. I will have to try the beef/tomato kind next time! This time, however, we went with chicken, since we had more of that in the freezer.

It would have been nice to have some already-cooked and cubed chicken on hand, but all I had was raw, frozen chicken (someday I will be uber efficient and cook up a huge batch after we have our big stock-up grocery trips-- it would be great for ground beef, too!). Sean was very patient and waited the hour or so it took me to prepare this, with thawing, cooking, and cutting up the chicken; peeling, slicing, boiling, and mashing the potatoes; THEN cooking the entire ensemble for 30 minutes. Oy! It was well worth it! Absolutely heavenly, especially with the fresh garlic in the potatoes, and my secret ingredient (see below)!



the filling mixture

 

mashed potatoes on left (oh, how I will appreciate having a potato masher someday! Using a fork takes forever) and chicken/veggie mixture on right

pepper jack cheese, all cozy in a layer between the filling and the topping of potatoes! It was awesome!

Finished product: voila! Sean had seconds, and loved taking it to work for lunch. I loved eating it for lunch too! It made several servings for us.

Just another day in the life of the Allen family. :)

Then and now

Well, here I am blogging without a hint of a subject about which to write, and an as-yet blank title field. What have we been up to lately? Hmm... normal, everyday stuff, I suppose. Work for Sean; cooking, cleaning, and laundry for me. :)

For inspiration, I look to my 2009 calendar. I like to record things on my calendar, and have for several years, everything from haircuts to lunch dates to what I had for dinner that day (sometimes, if it was especially delicious).

On this day in 2009...

• ate lunch with Cam and Sean at Cocheo Park at Vandenberg
• went to PT in the afternoon with my squadron, where we had a pushup and situp clinic
• went to Greek class at Grace (a pretty short-lived endeavor, because I was overcommitted and that was something I could drop, so I eventually did)
• Berlin called-- always a nice occurrence. We still keep somewhat in touch, now that she is at Beale AFB in Nor Cal. We appreciate how good she is at calling us-- something I want to work on.
• went grocery shopping, but I assume Sean went with me because there is a smiley face next to it. I actually do not like going grocery shopping, so I was so thankful he went with me. Even now we like to go together!

It is a pretty normal-sounding day, yet it's incredible how much life has changed since then! At the time, I was an instructor in the Training Group at Vandenberg. I had a corner desk in a four-pack of cubicles and had to show up at 7:30 every morning. I packed my lunch the night before, I laid out my clothes for the next day each night, and I carted around binders of lesson plans. I wore slacks or skirts, blazers, and high heels. I wore makeup every day. People knew me as "Ms. Johnston" and I didn't tell them how young I was. I got hundreds of impersonal e-mails from base organizations. I was living in a cute apartment with my roommate Amy, and cooking lots of meals with beans in them until I found out she doesn't like beans. (I still sort of cooked with a lot of beans, and she had to pick them out, oops.) I was going to Bible study with an awesome group of people and we read through Knowing God by J I Packer-- a pretty deep and insightful book.

Now.... I can wear sweats all day if I want to (and sometimes do). I put on just a little makeup before Sean gets home (sometimes), but he calls me beautiful even when I'm not wearing any. I receive no paycheck. I know the blessedness of waking up without an alarm, at whatever time that happens to be each day. I check out books from the library, everything from yoga to nutrition. All my high heels are in storage, or in CA. I rarely plan my next-day wardrobe. My only computer is Sean's laptop, and I don't receive tons of wide-dissemination e-mails.

But before you think I have turned into a super-slob, these things are also true of my world now: my husband comes home to me every night and appreciates the tantalizing aromas filling the house. He puts zero pressure on me to get an outside job. He thanks me for the stacks of clean clothes that "magically" appear in the closet. I do dress up for church on Sundays. People call me "Mrs. Allen" instead of "Ms. Johnston." I feel rested and relaxed much of the time, because I am getting more sleep. I prepare some mean crock pot meals (and stovetop or oven stuff too, but I love my crock pot). I prepare menus and grocery lists. I make it my goal to have the laundry done by lunchtime Monday. I wear boots good for snow, which I encounter whenever I go out. I am learning to budget and be a good steward of our finances. I am learning what it means to be a wife! It's amazing and wonderful, and I am so thankful that is my "job" now. I am thankfu for where I've been, and where we are headed. It's an adventure!

Stuffed Bell Peppers

I attempted a new recipe last night! I'm always on the lookout for good crock pot recipes, because I looooove having dinner taken care of early in the day, and I loooove how it makes the house smell so tantalizing all day. I came across a recipe for stuffed bell peppers in my cooking magazine (Healthy Cooking by Taste of Home). Stuffed bell peppers, yum! That sounds good. Hmm... I've never tried those before, and I've only eaten them once before (at Ana Severance's house, years ago, incidentally). In a crock pot? I was a little doubtful, but it can in fact be accomplished! Quite tastily, in fact.

All my ingredients for stuffed bell peppers: Pepper Jack cheese, salsa, chili powder, rice, corn, black beans, chopped onion, and of course bell peppers.

Stuffed and ready to start cooking in the crockpot! The grated Pepper Jack cheese on top was my idea. :)

Finished product-- absolutely DELISH!-- with baked rosemary-garlic potatoes on the side.

We discovered it was even better with sour cream! Yumm! This recipe is definitely a keeper!

Chicken Enchilada Casserole!

He whistles while he works (helps me assemble casseroles), what a guy!

Middle layer in progress...

 

Sean humoring me as I take pictures of food (and him) yet again

Ta-da!! Two pans ready to go in the fridge overnight before baking!

Recent life

Our front-yard view on a nice, crisp morning

 

This was too cool-- my car was covered in frost one morning so I had to take a picture. Waking up to a sparkly frozen world is still a novelty for this CA girl! I am learning to leave the house five minutes earlier than normal so I can scrape the ice off my windows and still be on time. :)

Making spaghetti! I have a strange penchant for taking pictures of meals we make, dunno why. I am infatuated with cooking and love to share the everyday stuff that makes up our life.

The moon was huge the other night! That day it was supposedly the closest it will be to Earth in all of 2010, so it was amazing. Picture doesn't do it justice, of course. Sean called me on his way home from work and said, you have to go outside and look at the moon! At that moment I was boiling noodles, frying Italian sausages, and making a white sauce on the stove and didn't want to leave it as it was thickening, but I went outside anyway and took some photos. Since I turned the burners off, the sauce ended up being super thick (or maybe I added too much flour) but Sean still said it was really good. I am really critical of myself, and almost always think I should tweak the things I make, even just a little. But he's right: they are still edible, and still really good, even if they are not always out-of-this-world fantastic.

That's our little corner of the world this past week or so. Until next time!