What would you do...

...if your husband, who normally gets home from work at 6:30 a.m., was not home when you woke up at 7 a.m.? And if your husband's cell phone was currently not working, so he didn't have it with him?

I decided to get up, make breakfast, do my normal Bible study workbook, and try not to worry. About every five minutes, I'd pray, God, please keep him safe.

I made breakfast, sat down to eat it, and looked at the clock. I attempted to journal some in my workbook, and looked at the clock. God, please keep him safe. He's probably fine. I did some dishes, then went and washed my face, trying to maintain a normal morning routine (and looked at the clock).

I debated about whether to call the ops floor to see if he was still at work.

I decided to wait until 9 a.m. to call, and in the meantime, rehearsed what I'd say: Hi, may I speak to the MC [guy in charge], please? Hi, sir, this is Marisa Allen. My husband, Lt Sean Allen, is teaching a mid-shift course in the Mod 5/6 sim, and he hasn't come home yet. Could you please see if anyone knows where he is? (I'd feel pretty sheepish making that call, which is most of the reason I was going to wait so long.)

I thought, maybe his car broke down somewhere along the way-- 14 miles of pretty-rustic roads, replete with cow fields, cracked asphalt, and not much traffic. The base is out in the boonies, but people do work there, so maybe someone will drive by. And he's got no cell phone, so he either has to wait for that someone to stop, or try and find a farm or somebody with a telephone.

I wondered if I should drive out along the route he normally takes and see if that was in fact the case: stranded husband ran out of gas halfway home.

I thought, maybe they locked down the portals (telephone-booth-like structures dividing the "restricted area" where he works from the rest of the base) and they're not letting anyone in or out. This happens somewhat often, delaying people for 30 or 45 minutes, or more.

I thought about calling my mom: um, Sean's not home yet. Do you think I should call the ops floor? Or can you pray for me? But it was pretty early in the morning and I didn't want to alarm her unnecessarily. Again, feeling sheepish.

I wondered how long it would take our extended circles of friends to find out about his untimely demise (assuming he'd been mugged, in a car accident, or whatever). Would they find out on Facebook? How awful. Where would we have the funeral? I know he doesn't want to have a military funeral. The squadron will suffer with losing another member-- we went to a memorial service for one of Sean's peers just last month, a suicide. At least I have a black maternity dress. I don't want to have this baby by myself!! I really don't want to be without him! I'll raise a fatherless child! Will someone marry me someday? How will I get through the grief? Should I stay in Colorado? Move back to California? Get a job? Sell the house, pay off the house? Who do I ask for help with those decisions, since Sean is my best friend and co-decision-maker?

By 8:30, I was tired of wandering around the house with my thoughts, unsettled. I had the cell phone in hand, literally about to call, when the front door opened and in walked my husband, in his flightsuit, backpack on, perfectly fine. He was a little surprised when I walked over, clung to him and burst into tears. I wouldn't say I was hysterical, but I was definitely shaken. I knew, even at that time, that I was probably over-reacting, and he'd have every reason to wonder why I was crying so hard. Good morning to you, too? I wasn't mad at him, just torn up at the thought of losing him. He held me and shushed me and was very patient. (Can I blame pregnancy hormones on this?)

Turns out, he had decided to take care of some paperwork after his shift ended, and it took awhile. But he was fine, and it hadn't occurred to him to call and let me know he was staying later-- didn't occur to him his wife would let her worries explode and rob her of peace as the minutes crept by. He was very apologetic, had no idea it would be so traumatic for me, and we've established that he'll try to call if his schedule changes, and I'll choose not to worry. :)

This whole incident is a great example of NOT trusting God, NOT taking captive my thoughts. I was trying to pray, kinda sorta, but still didn't "think on what is true." I wasn't exactly successful at banishing the scary thoughts I was having. Absolutely nothing bad happened, but I was antsy and tense, and I hated not knowing.

That's what faith is for: trusting something you can't see, choosing to believe it's sturdy enough to bear the burden of your trust. And that's our struggle, having an incomplete picture, always incomplete, with facts and insights missing, though we trust they are there. We trust there is someone bigger, wiser, more powerful than we are who is not only powerful, but good and perfect and capable of bringing about the absolute best outcome. "Best" doesn't mean the same thing to us as it does to God, because we wonder how suffering could ever be good, but we can know He will work all things for good.

Hopefully my little story is entertaining, but more importantly, I hope it's an encouragement to trust God. Even when we don't know the details. Especially when we don't know the details. 'Cause you know what? Even if something bad had happened to Sean, it would be okay. God would sustain me, and everyone else who would grieve. God could even bring good out of it, somehow, in that crazy way of His. We do have hope for the future, not only hope that we will see Sean again, but hope that there is life beyond this one! If we have hope in Christ, we have the certainty of being forgiven, of being accepted by God not on merit of our good deeds, but because the blood of Christ covers us. We don't have to pin all our happiness on an earthly life, nor should we. It's not about our efforts of being good, earning love, or pleasing people. It's not even about being married for a lifetime-- as much as I do want to have many, many years together with my sweet love. Even a lifetime is a limited quantity of time, versus eternity, which is, well, eternal.

Anyway, it's too late to remain coherent, so I will end here, for now. Hopefully next time something like this happens, I'll remember this whole episode and choose a different response when bombarded with irrational fears. :)

Luke and Emily Hawkins

The Wedding

Luke D. Hawkins and Emily D. Forman got married on July 17, 201o-- exactly nine months after Sean and I got married on Oct. 17, 2009-- at the Cayucos Creek Barn in Cayucos, CA. It was a beautiful wedding, expressive, emotive, and very vintage, just like they are. One extremely neat feature was their guest book: a mint-green typewriter on which guests could peck out a line or two (see photo at top-right, my dear friend Amie demonstrating her technique). The bride and groom included thoughtful touches like lighting candles for both Luke's dad and sister, who have passed away, as well as diverse readings by four of their friends-- one, a Scripture passage; one, an excerpt from a book; another, reading a humorous one-line quote. I always appreciate how weddings remind me of my own vows. Now that I am married, I don't have to wistfully wonder if the pastor's words will someday apply to me. Instead, I see those words as a charge, to renew my own commitment to my husband and remember the ultimate aim of marriage on earth: to reflect the beauty of Christ and the Church, His tender love for His Bride and her devotion to her groom.

The Back Story
Luke and I go way back, and it's hard to imagine a truer friend. We have had deep discussions about A.W. Tozer and C. S. Lewis (all great theological writers seem to have initials for names); we took French together for three years in high school; we went to coffee; we went to plays put on by the local junior college, one of which-- Crazy for You-- sparked a "define the relationship" talk, which culminated in "just friends." In fact, we took a couple classes together both at good ole Allan Hancock College (aforementioned j.c.) as well as The Master's College, where I got my degree. We were both English majors for a time, until I defected to Liberal Studies. He finished his English BA at Cal Poly SLO, a university not far from Santa Maria. He's a sensitive soul, a "thoughtful thinker" and articulate writer, the depth of whose insights are much too deep for me. Even his penmanship is careful and calligraphic.

At one point, I would have said our personalities were all-but-identical, but after high school our lives diverged and vastly different experiences shaped each of us. We were kindred spirits, good friends, peas in a pod. After some time, I felt like we had both changed so much that I no longer understood him quite as well, but that did not negate our historical friendship. I am very thankful for him, because he pours out his life into other people. He has suffered great grief and his character is strong. He loves well, and I am certain his life will be well-spent. I am ecstatic he now has a life-partner to share it with! Emily is an incredible person, I am certain. No mediocre, indifferent soul could be a match for Luke. I am very thankful I was able to witness the beginning of their marriage.

Baby Shower, CA-style

In mid-July I was privileged to be able to go to CA for a week to visit my parents (and gobs of other people!). Among the activities on our itinerary were the wedding of my dear friend Luke (one of my "oldest" friends; we've been friends since 9th grade) and a baby shower for the newest Allen-to-be. Both activities were part of a whirlwind weekend that went by way too fast, but it was a ton of fun. Wedding post to come, but for now, BABY!


A sampling of the amazing food prepared by my amazing mother

I just thought this picture was funny. Joy, the diligent note-taker (and a dear friend of Sean and me), and.... me, being goofy as usual. With one of many too-cute tiny boy outfits. We have been so blessed by people's generosity and thoughtfulness!

My artistic grandma, Athene, whose coastal paintings grace our hallways. My paternal grandparents live in Redlands, about a four hours' drive south, and they were able to come up for the day! Poor Grandpa was sequestered away upstairs while all the estrogen invaded the house (it was LOUD and busy with all those ladies!), but I don't think he minded too much; he did get a nice nap.

Family portrait!

Sean was able to come to CA for the weekend, for which we were so thankful. I'm really glad we all get along so well. It was really neat to be able to visit Santa Maria together, since I have come out a time or two by myself. We very much enjoyed our time "back home"-- Sean lived there for nine months, I lived there for about 12 years, but we both have good memories of the Central Coast, for many reasons. It doesn't hurt that's where we met, right? We always enjoy being pampered by our parents, too. :) Now, being a wife, I very much appreciate being cooked-for and taken care of.

Cooking is currently one of my greatest joys (honestly!), but sometimes it's nice to "help" in the kitchen, without having to mastermind the "what's for dinner" plan. Mom's an awesome cook, and no, I'm not saying that just because she reads this blog (hi, Mom!). I'm so glad she passed on that love of cooking to me. Sean even told me today, I hope you don't stop cooking. My response was, as I looked over at the pot bubbling on the stove, Oh, it doesn't need to be stirred for another few minutes. He meant "don't stop" as in, "please don't get tired of it a couple years from now." I hope that never happens! I know it can be difficult to come up with new, exciting, healthy meals involving the same old chicken... but I have some resources at my disposal, everything from cooking magazines to blogs. One blog I've recently discovered is written by two sisters who attended my college (one of whom lived in my dorm!), and it's been extremely helpful so far! They write about frugal, healthy cooking, which is right up my alley. I want to learn and get better at it, since I'm just starting out. It's called Near to Nothing, and I heartily recommend you check it out.

So, to sum up, the baby shower was awesome, and cooking is awesome. And my diamond ring is really sparkly. :) Sometimes I still can't believe this is my life now. I think I've gotten used to being married, somewhat, so it's not a shock every morning when I wake up in a big bed (not my old twin bed) with a ring on my finger and a pretty-amazingly-wonderful-handsome-affectionate husband. Life will only get more interesting as our family grows! The other day I was trying to picture having an eight-year-old offspring (for whatever reason). I can almost picture having a baby as part of our family (though that thought is still kind of hazy), but it's hard to imagine caring for an elementary-school-age child, or even a kindergartner who can TALK and write and read! Good thing they grow gradually. And good thing God's mercies are new every morning! We're going to need all the help we can get. It's a good adventure.

Camouflage, journaling, and prayer

So we were at Barnes and Noble one day and came across this journal... which happened to closely resemble my top! Mimicry is not just for the animal kingdom, I suppose. We always enjoy our window-shopping dates, whether at BN or Home Depot. In this case, we did buy a journal (a different one, not this purple one) to start writing letters in it to Nalani, since we can't see her or talk to her very often at this point. We have also started writing little notes to Caleb in a separate journal. We plan on having a special journal for each of our children to read when they are older (perhaps to be bestowed on a significant birthday or milestone?), with our thoughts and hopes recorded for them, both Mommy and Daddy's writings! We think it will be a way for them to get to know us as we were before they were born, or when they were too little to remember: the anticipation we have of meeting them, the praying we do for them, our desires and dreams for their future, the love we have for them... and later, the funny things they will do and say; and the special, ordinary moments we hope to capture. Hopefully it will be a valuable treasure to each of them, not because their mom and dad are overly wise, but because we truly want them to understand our hearts and see how much we value them. In our marriage so far, the things Sean and I have prayed for most often have been "the house" (more specifically, guidance on where to live and whether/where to buy), our families, Sean's work, and our babies Nalani and Caleb. :) We pray every night for wisdom to be godly parents to them; that they would grow up to love and know God; that God would choose them to be His children; and that God would use us despite our sinfulness to shape them into godly people of faith. It's exciting and a little daunting, this adventure of parenthood; that's why we pray!

Sewing adventures in spinach green

I have now sewn rank on two flightsuits. :) Our buddy Cam asked me to work some magic on his flightsuit, after hearing I had sewn Sean's.


before

after

I must admit, I really enjoyed this project! Especially the second time around, when I sort of knew what I was doing... and when I wasn't under a time crunch of needing to get ready to go camping! (Remember our camping trip over Memorial Day?) I was very pleased with the results on Cam's flightsuit, particularly the green thread that matches so well it is almost invisible, a color officially named "Spinach." (Sean's rank still shows a minty-green thread that does not blend in very well, but it's what I had at the time.) I was so thrilled it matched so perfectly, after merely eye-balling the array of green threads in the store and picking one, fingers crossed. The fusible webbing I bought helps too, because it's pretty squirrely trying to sew such a small chunk of fabric on and keep the edges all tucked under neatly without being able to pin it in place due to the thickness. It's possible (sort of) to adhere the raw edges to the back of the rank, press, then sew in a little rectangle along the four sides. I will have to go back and redo Sean's flightsuit, so that it looks as good. Can't have my husband walking around with an inferior job. :)

By the time they make Captain, I should be a pro at this....

Summer Visitors

This summer, we have had the privilege of seeing several out-of-state visitors! We are so excited to be able to open our home, this home that God has given us. (We still marvel at the home we get to live in!) Before we moved in, we prayed every day that wherever we ended up, God would help us be hospitable and let us use our home for Him. I definitely want to be more proactive about having people over for dinner or a game night, but it's really nice when people just let you know they are stopping through your area and are willing to come see you!

In June, my dear college friend Kaitie stopped by overnight on her way from CA to NH (along with her friend Kathy and kitty Wesley, not pictured). In college she and I would often exchange back rubs to counteract those insidious studying-induced knots, or stop by each other's study carrels in the library for a little chat break, and even though we lived in different dorms, we were able to hang out quite a bit. She has a beautiful singing voice (we were in a big choir together, then later on she made it into Chorale, the more-selective 60-person group that goes on a tour every summer), and enjoyed studying biblical counseling (and even took a couple years of Greek). She ended up staying and working in Santa Clarita after we both graduated from college in 2006, so her apartment was the place I stayed whenever I'd come down for a weekend visit, which was fairly often the first year or so. She's got lots of good books on her bookshelves, and is now starting a new life-chapter back in New Hampshire, where her mom and brother live. It will be cool to see where God takes her!

In July, my mom's Uncle Stan and Aunt Phyllis stopped by during a big RV trip, where they visited Wyoming and Montana and all sorts of places over a period of several weeks. They were in Golden, CO and contacted me about a visit before they headed home to Visalia, CA. I'm so glad they thought of me and were willing to stop by for lunch! Sean was TDY in Utah at the time, but hopefully next time they can hang out with him too.

Quite recently, on August 5th, another dear college friend, Kristi, met me in Castle Rock for lunch! Her parents live in Littleton, CO, and she is currently out here visiting them (she and her husband Brian live in Santa Clarita, CA). She and I met the fall semester of our freshman year; we survived a Tues-Thurs 8 a.m. Old Testament Survey class together (completing the special project as a team, as well-- we designed and created a "choose your own adventure"-style booklet on Jonah), and we were wingmates to boot, living just a few doors down from each other. She's the sweetest person, very careful that her words are only positive or uplifting, and really wants to honor God with her life. She has been an elementary-school teacher for two years and spearheads a junior high girls' Bible study at her church. I was blessed to be in her wedding a few summers ago. :) She's also about 10 weeks behind me in her pregnancy, which is so exciting. I can't believe we are pregnant at the same time!! It's just a strange thought that we are sharing this life-phase too, in addition to those crazy college days. Kristi gives the best back rubs and was always willing to take a moment to talk in the hallway, or lend me midnight snacks or craft supplies. One more thing I can't neglect to mention.... the origins are long-forgotten, but somehow our nicknames are KK and MM. That's even how she is listed in my cell phone: simply "KK." I guess there are enough Katys and Kristis that she gets her own moniker.

It's been a good summer for visits! The Allen Fam B&B is always open for business, so come on down! I love catching up with "old" friends and seeing how we are different/older/wiser, and yet how we are still the same. I absolutely love it when you can pick right back up where you left off, with no awkwardness. God is good, and those conversations are always encouraging.

TMC Alumni Brunch

Unfortunately, we didn't really get very many good pictures of it, but the TMC alumni brunch at the Broadmoor was an awesome event, nonetheless. I was surprised at how excited I was to go. I found out about the event the Thursday before it was scheduled to occur. Immediately I called the Alumni office at TMC and asked if we could still RSVP! I was a little hesitant to sign us up because Sean was at work and not able to be reached, and I have done a few things lately without running them by him first, and I want to avoid making a habit of that. Anyway..... Polly Meredith, the really sweet alumni relations manger, said, sure! Of course you can still come! So.... we got ready Saturday morning and headed out. I had no idea who would be there (other than John MacArthur, of course) but I figured it would be good. It was!!! The Broadmoor, as you will remember, is very fancy. Our "brunch" was orange juice, ice water, coffee or tea; fruit salad (with luscious berries and melons) in stemmed cups; open-faced ham and egg muffin; fried potatoes with grilled asparagus; and assorted pastries and muffins; yum!

Sean likes taking very candid shots. Now, this photo makes it look like not many people attended; but there were more than 50 alumni from all different years. Surprisingly enough, some people came that I knew from my time at Master's! Nick Kessener and his wife Alicia are now in Littleton, and they were part of "the group" I hung out with @ Master's-- sat in Chapel with, and went to the caf with. It was pretty sweet to catch up. We also got acquainted with one Rachel Miller, who graduated the year after I did and was also a Liberal Studies major. I don't think we ever had any classes together, but we figured out we have several mutual friends. She's now a 2nd grade teacher at the Academy, which is pretty sweet. We're now Facebook friends too. :)

Can you believe this is the best photo we got of Johnny Mac?? The formal portion of the event was very encouraging: they showed a DVD with clips from recent Chapels (some incredible pastors they have had the privilege of hosting!); college-student shenanigans/events; as well as interviews of classic faculty members, including my fave, Grant Horner. Dr. Mark Tatlock, the Senior Vice President and Provost of the college, talked some, as did Dr. MacArthur (who doesn't look like he should based on how he sounds on the radio, according to Sean). It is neat to hear about where God is taking the school in the future: they are planning on building a welcome center with a "legacy room" in celebration of Dr. MacArthur's 25 years as president. Also, they are considering starting an undergraduate nursing program, which I think would be awesome. It was a really neat event (classy and professional, as usual) and I'm so glad we were able to go. It would have been unfortunate to have found out about the event after it happened, especially since we live here! Sean enjoyed it too, even though he didn't attend school there. They gave out little gift bags with a 25-year anniversary daily-devotional book by John MacArthur... and on the table by the door there was a little stack of baby t-shirts emblazoned with "Born to be a Mustang." :) I am looking forward to putting it on our little guy! Overall, a pretty sweet way to spend a Saturday morning.

Sean's birthday shindig

For Sean's birthday on 3 July, we had people over for dinner and games! I meant to take a picture of the spread, but forgot. But there were.... strawberries and cherries with cream cheese dip; veggie tray with Ranch dip; taco lasagna (I seem to make that a lot for special-ish occasions); chips and salsa; sweet tea and soda; chocolate inside-out cake with ice cream; and lots of balloons! Can't have a birthday without balloons. I spent most of the day, while Sean was at work, feverishly preparing the house and the food. It all came together!


Opening his present from Mom and Dad J: a package "from home" would not be complete without home-baked goodies, like these awesome brownies (that he's eagerly sniffing)! I come by my baking genes honestly.

The crew: Rachel and Josh, who got engaged July 4th (and we got to witness it!); the very-pregnant Allens; and Leah and Matt, from our Friday night small group

And... substitution of Cam for Matt so we could document everyone who was there :)

July 3rd, and can you guess what those are? Not just tanks, but firework-tanks. Boys never outgrow their toys. Sean was really excited to use his "discretionary" money for the month on these fireworks (we each get a certain sum per month to use as fun money). There was an epic battle, sort of, and much fun was had by all. We also played Mad Gab, a hilarious team game. After it was all said and done, I was pretty exhausted, but it was a great day. Sean said it was a really good birthday, and that makes me happy. He is now 24, and for the next three months we will be the same age... until I turn 25 in October. :) Yikes! That's a big one. I would say that makes me feel old, but it's more like I feel more grounded and mature (not to be too presumptuous). We are really enjoying this time of life. We are settling into "life as it is now"-- learning how to be a husband and wife, building our life together, communicating, anticipating impending parenthood-- and it is very good.

July events

Not much out of the ordinary has transpired for awhile, but we have had a few "events" recently! Expect to see pictures and posts soon of:

• Sean's birthday shindig
• a spontaneous Denver day trip
• TMC alumni brunch at the Broadmoor, also fairly short-notice
• visit from Uncle Stan and Aunt Phyllis
• the burgeoning baby belly

I must admit, I have had a few moments of "I am ready to be done being pregnant!" But I know 1) it's only for a limited time, the end is in sight; 2) it's only going to get worse, and 3) I will probably miss feeling his movements inside me. Of course, that bittersweet nostalgia will be balanced by being able to sleep on my stomach, move around more easily, go for a run (in time), and hold and smooch on our son. So, I don't think I will miss being pregnant much right away. I do want to treasure this time and choose to be thankful for it, even when it's uncomfortable. People were right: summertime can be a bit miserable. But I have been making lots of smoothies (nutritious and delicious!) and trying to remember the snowy months and how ready I was for the weather to be warmer. Warmer it is. :)

As soon as I muster up the motivation to download our recent photos, I'll post some of them!

Life Lately

Well, it's time to blog, haven't published much in a while, but unfortunately I don't have any big, recent adventures or delectable culinary delights to share. Life's been pretty normal lately: visiting the rec center's outdoor pool; perpetually straightening the house; chopping vegetables for salads; researching baby stuff online; reading fiction and baby-related books. Not much to take pictures of.

I guess there have been a few big things the last few weeks: Sean and I drafted wills, kind of a weird feeling, and yes, I got a little teary-eyed once or twice contemplating our the event of our deaths. It's good to be prepared, though, and the JAG office on-base made it easy (and free). I had an ultrasound (peachy!) and took a glucose-tolerance test (not that fun, but I got to watch a World Cup game in the waiting room). We've been refining our budget as we go through a Financial Peace University class at church (Dave Ramsey's schtick, if you're familiar with him), which has actually been kinda sorta fun! Being the obsessively perfectionistic detail-oriented person I am, I love knowing where every penny is going. We bought a ladder and some shelving units with garage-sale proceeds. :) I haven't cooked anything extraordinary, as I've been trying to use up odds and ends, which sometimes results in interesting creations. I'm a little sick of chicken at the moment, but have a couple beefy casseroles and one-skillet meals planned for July (including some casseroles to make double of and freeze for later!!!). I sewed new rank on a second flightsuit, our buddy Cameron's, and feel quite accomplished about it! I think I'm getting the hang of it, finally, so I'm going to redo Sean's soon. I even bought some flightsuit-green thread for it, a color really named "Spinach," and must admit I was thrilled that it matched, because I just eye-balled the colors in the store and picked one without having a sample of the material to hold it up against.

I'd really like to find some amazing appetizers to make for Sean's birthday shindig, which isn't exactly planned yet. He will be 24 on July 3rd, but has a day shift that day (and a swing shift on July 4th), so we're thinking we could celebrate with people the following weekend on the 10th. We shall see! I usually try to avoid writing about things in the future, instead recounting already-taken-place events, but it's fun to anticipate, too. I do like surprises! And I made him wait and open his Father's Day package from the parents until the actual day, even though he reeeeally wanted to open it right away. :)

Speaking of anticipation... my due date is 70 days away! Here's the 29-week photo. It's hard to believe the day's only about two months away. I think he got the hiccups for the first time today. It felt like little bumps that were only a few seconds apart; they didn't feel as big as kicks usually do.

That's about all for now!

Glacier Wins Qualifier-Quantity Award

[this is a bit of a retrospective post, sharing one part of our April trip to Alaska]

Touted as "the largest glacier accessible by car in Alaska," Matanuska Glacier was the destination we chose for the last full day we spent in Alaska (waaay back in April!). Ashley and Vaimana, our sister and brother-in-law and lovely hosts during our stay, had to work that day, so Sean and I made a day of it. Ashley so graciously lent us her car and carpooled to base with her hubby. The glacier was located an hour or two away from Eagle River, where they live, and it turned out to be such a rewarding excursion. I'm so glad we went! Such a unique landmark of the area, and not a geographical feature either of us has ever visited (or seen) before. I'm pretty sure there aren't any glaciers in Colorado.... or Hawaii or California, for that matter!


Here we are at a viewpoint along the way, before we actually arrived at the glacier

here's a group of people....

and here's some perspective: see the little people in the left corner? Front and center, with all the crinkly outcroppings, is THE GLACIER. :)

Gorgeous! I think we took this photo not far from where we parked (there's a bumpy road a few miles past the gift shop that leads to the "trailhead").

It was a pretty awesome day. We had a great talk in the car, I remember, and it was an interesting experience once we arrived at the little guest house/ gift shop. We discovered, after the proprietor looked us up and down and asked if that's what we were planning on wearing, that we weren't exactly dressed for the activity, me in casual canvas flats, denim capris, and a light sweater; Sean in shorts and tennis shoes. Turns out the "path" to get to the glacier was an indistinct trail marked by cones (you couldn't even call it a trail some of the time; there was no visible path), and the landscape reminded me not a little of Sam and Frodo's trek to Mordor, complete with black mud and barren wastelands. :) It wasn't that bad, but because of the seasonal change-- lots of stuff melting-- the ground was pretty unstable at times. There were alternating areas of mud, icy slush, rocks, gravel, ice slabs, hard-packed path, crunchy ice, mini rivers to cross, you name it. Thankfully.... before we set out, the guy at the gift shop let me borrow some galoshes, and even socks! I would NOT have made it very far without them, at least without making a mess of my clothes and shoes.

See the path laid out by the cones? Yeah, neither did we. It was kind of like a scavenger hunt, or a clue-caper. Where's the next cone???

Awesome day, not too cold, beautifully unique scenery, and spent-- of course-- with my very best friend. :)

Assorted Ramblings

This week has been good so far! It honestly took me awhile to recover from our busy, busy week of camping, promotion, and garage sale, all back to back events. I've been going for walks a little more consistently-- three days in a row last week-- but that area could still use a little improvement. Sometime I want to take a camera with me to capture some of the amazing scenery and fascinating clouds that refresh me along the way (thank you, God!). You'll know if I ever do manage to take a camera; I'll likely post any particularly pretty shots I get!

Sean and I really enjoy "Home Depot dates," mostly window shopping, brain storming, and daydreaming about the possibilities for future home projects: anything from houseplants to wood floors and outdoor decks. We have yet to spend very much money there. It would be easy to spend all our spare time fixing up the house, but while we want to take good care of it, maybe even increase its curb appeal, we don't want it to consume our lives and leave us unavailable for other things, like PEOPLE! ...who aren't "things" at all. We know there is more to life than material things, though we can get genuine pleasure out of tangible objects... like the thrill of spying the first little green sprouts in your garden, watching plants grow and change before your very eyes as you water them and watch to make sure they get the proper amount of sun or shade. That's probably what being a parent will be like, only on a much grander scale: often stopping to stare in awe at what God makes and does. I believe it's perfectly acceptable (and good) to do those everyday things like cook a delicious meal or cultivate a garden or create a welcoming, comfortable environment in your home. God isn't against pleasure; He made the earth and earthly things for our enjoyment. The awesomest part is when we can recognize it's all from Him and because of Him and say thank you for those simple things as we enjoy them.

Sean and I had a really good talk today about parenting, and how do you know what is "age appropriate" to share with your child? Not only in the context of the "birds and the bees" talks, but other biblical concepts like submission and obedience and God's sovereignty. The world contains plentiful confusion, tantalizing counterfeits, and outright lies about what God has said. How do we explain "what makes a man a man and not a woman?" or "how can God have always existed, and not have a beginning or an end?" or "why do we have to obey God (and by extension, mom and dad)?" I can only imagine the kinds of questions we'll get. :) Kids are so inquisitive! And it's so crucial to give them the truth, so they can develop a solid foundation for right thinking as they mature and encounter distortions or perversions of truth. I've been studying I John lately and much of it (so far! I'm in chapter 2) deals with light and darkness, knowing truth (knowing God) and recognizing false teachers, having fellowship with God and not the world--- so many dichotomies, though they don't always appear so "black and white" to an undiscerning eye.

We feel a strong responsibility to not only clearly express God's truth to our children, but to live out our beliefs so that they will see Christ is our treasure. We want them to see there is more to life than living in a nice house or keeping your grass green. Life is about living for Someone other than ourselves. I often "forget" how real eternity is and focus on such paltry, fleeting things, like my feelings about a particular circumstance or my cravings for comfort or security or pleasure. But God's truth about life, both the temporal now and eternal forever-life, is the "truest truth" there is. What a big job, passing that on to little growing people. But along with the responsibility comes much grace (which we are already praying for) and wisdom, as we ask Him for it. I think of my parents and others I know and respect, and I realize that God can and does use sinners for His work, to accomplish His purposes in our lives and our children's. Convenient, since we are all sinners. :) I know my parents aren't perfect, yet they still taught me so much and are now some of the most-trusted people in my life. God did (and is still doing) good things in my life through them, and I'm so thankful!

Anyway.... lots of big thoughts in our hearts lately as we contemplate the ride we are close to embarking on. To me it feels very much like a roller coaster ride, at the point where you are slowly ascending that first big slope, hearing that chunka-chunka-chunka sound of the belt pulling you up the track, strapped in with a "too late now!!" sort of anticipation, knowing that you have made your choice and a biiiiiiig drop is just over the crest. I wonder what moment in life will correspond with that instant of weightlessness as you almost hover at the top-- now you can see so far in every direction and you're almost motionless in the open air, but you can also look straight down at the steep drop directly before you-- before gravity takes hold of you and you are screaming ahead at a much-too-fast speed and maybe feeling a little panicky about the intensity of what's now imminent. Yep, that's what it feels like. Surreal and intangible now, hard to imagine our baby's "really real," even though I feel movement in my tummy daily.... I wonder when it will sink in. When we're holding him after he's born? When we rock him, or change his diaper, or snuggle with him? When he's sitting up or crawling or walking? When he's holding his hand out for the car keys? :) I know it's taken several months to get used to really, truly being married (eight months tomorrow!). It is wonderful, but almost doesn't feel real sometimes. We've had a few relational bumps to know, okay... this is real. :) We're not perfect and won't always succeed at honoring each other. It's not a perpetual honeymoon (especially because real life entails bills and "discussions" and things you "have" to do versus getting to goof off all the time); there are tough, stressful moments and sometimes we hurt each other with our sin. We even had a "what are you talking about?!" discussion the other day where it took awhile to get on the same page and truly understand what each other was saying and meaning, due (mostly) to those male-female translational difficulties. It happens. I'm thankful those moments are rare, but they do happen. We know we are committed to each other for life, and we know we will not stop loving, never stop trying. We are growing, and it is good.

And... I've needed a nap since about 4 p.m. today, so I think I'll close for now and go to bed for an eight- or nine-hour "nap" til morning. :) Ultrasound tomorrow! Willl keep you posted.

Texan Ranch Chicken Casserole

I was a very happy camper yesterday upon discovering my stash of cooking magazines in a box in the garage! We still have a few boxes we have not fully unpacked. But.... those days are numbered! Sean cleaned out the garage the other day and it feels much roomier without a huge pile of empty boxes (most of the cardboard out there was empty, fortunately). After our garage sale, we have so much more space out there. Maybe someday soon we could even park a car or two in the garage? Crazy thought.

Back to the cooking magazines. I subscribed to Taste of Home's Healthy Cooking for a year so I could have a good pool of recipes at my disposal. However, up until yesterday, I had only two issues with me, one of them being the Dec/Jan one, the rest being MIA. It's very exciting to now have "summer" recipes to try!

This casserole happens to be from Aug/Sept '09, but I made my June menu before I found the other mags, so... onward we go.


Corn tortillas cut in 1" strips; red and green bell pepper, chopped; celery and onion, also chopped; 1 garlic clove, minced; cream of celery condensed soup; cream of chicken condensed soup; small can of green chilies; 10 oz. diced tomatoes; chili powder

Saute the chopped stuff until tender-crisp...

...add your canned items...

...and layer in a pan with corn tortillas, chicken mixture, and cheese! Pretty awesome casserole! Next month I plan on stocking our freezer with some ready-to-go meals in preparation for the baby's arrival in September! It's starting to sink in that he's really coming! And soon. It's going to be crazy-different to be in charge of a tiny human 24/7. But we are very much looking forward to it and know that God will provide the grace we need.

The verdict on this casserole: "more than a keeper!" It was very, very good in both our opinions. :) Not your typical chicken casserole, probably due in part to the caliente kick of chili powder. It was so good, in fact, I am making another one for Sean to take to work tonight. Every once in a while on their "mid" shifts (10:45 pm - 6:45 am), one of the crew members brings in dinner for everybody, which is about 10 people, I think. Sean's kind of famous for bringing great-smelling food for his lunch. :) I'm glad to share a great dish with other people! If you have to work all night, at least it's good to get some tasty food in your belly.

I'm off to go make Wheat Germ Streusel Banana Muffins. YUM! My dear friend Kaitie from college is  coming tomorrow for a visit, and I'm very excited! There is much cleaning and baking to do before then, but it will all get done, or "done enough." On the dinner menu: poppy seed chicken casserole, green salad, sweet tea, and banana muffins, perhaps with homemade frozen yogurt (if I decide I have the time and energy to bust out our fro-yo maker and try it out!).

Veggie Dinner

This is just sliced zucchini and butternut squash sauted with some chopped onion and garlic (and Santa Maria style seasoning), with cubed chicken thrown in, but it was YUMMY! We both love cooked zucchini (I'm not a fan of raw zucchini.) I love summer's abundance of fresh produce. While we were eating, Sean commented, "The food you cook always tastes so healthy!" Well... good! That's my goal. Hopefully it "tastes healthy" because it is! I'm getting better at making up meals without recipes. Mom was right; you do start to get a feel for things that would go well together. :) We made some white rice to serve as a bed for this yummy goodness, and voila, complete, satisfying meal.

25 weeks

These photos are from two weeks ago; I'll be 27 weeks tomorow!

Yes.... I am a goofball. My husband is too, so our children are doomed. :)

Here's a frontal view, just for a different perspective :)

I've been feeling pretty well lately, and am excited to have made it through a busy week, with camping, promotion, then a garage sale last Friday and Saturday. It feels soooooo good to have gotten rid of some stuff. We still have much to jettison, but we are making progress.... and we can see some garage floor now. It helps immensely, too, that Sean broke down all the empty brown boxes and got them out.

Now we are contemplating what to do with our "proceeds," almost exactly $280. We've decided to give half of it to God, but we want to do something special and creative with it, not just dump it in an offering plate (especially because we ended up with lots of one's!). We'd like to meet a need, or use the money to buy something unique for someone. We are praying about it! The other half is slated for "home improvement": a weed trimmer, maybe some plastic storage containers (for off-season clothing, mostly-- that's a new one for me!), and definitely some plants for the back yard! We are excited to have a little extra that we didn't before. It's a win-win situation. Get rid of stuff you don't need or want, create more space in your life, bless somebody else... and be able to purchase a few useful, life-enriching things. :) We want to be good stewards of this home! And that means whacking the weeds in the yard, and keeping the lawn healthy, and making the inside comfortable and oxygen-rich with some houseplants! The lawn is pretty brown right now, but hopefully we'll soon start giving it some TLC.

In other news... we have a crib to assemble! The pieces are leaning up against the wall in the nursery, just waiting to be put together. Very exciting! We are so thankful for the generosity of friends, who have been GIVING us tons of baby stuff. I'm very excited for a baby-hiking-backpack that's been offered to us too! Just about three months to go before we meet him. Crazy crazy crazy. We are looking forward to it. :)

Pinnin' On 1LT

!
The actual pinning-on (I only dropped one of the insignia, and someone was gracious enough to pick it up for me!)

YAY!!!!!!

Renewing their oath of office

Take me out to the ballgame!

Camping!

On Memorial Day, we went camping. As in.... tent camping. As in... no toilets, water, or even numbered campsites. :) It was a blast! We did a little research online before taking off for a destination not-quite-known. We also prayed for safety, since we'd be out in the boonies should anything happen to the six-months-pregnant wife (nothing did, praise God!). Sean packed all the food and gear while I sewed new rank on his flightsuit (no pressure...), then we were off!

We ended up finding a beautiful reservoir in the mountains about 15 miles past the Broadmoor hotel (remember that location?). People were fishing at different spots around the perimeter, including a 10-member family that piled out of an extended-cab pickup (at least five kids). Still not sure about that one...

We picked a place, Sean cleared some ground, we set up the tent, then we chilled out with our toes in the water as we soaked up the sun! It was incredibly refreshing. I only had to work a little bit at being okay with doing nothing but sit there. It's good to learn how to slow yourself down and put away the to-do list for once. We tend to not notice God's creation when we are so consumed with being productive or competent or "accomplishing much." We had a really good conversation around our little fire, and it was good to get away.


We had a great time, even though the ground under our tent was neither level nor soft. We survived despite very little sleep (and not much comfort), and came home and took a shower and a nap. Eight hours after arriving back home, we were dressed up and at the Colorado Springs Sky Sox banquet hall for Sean's promotion ceremony to 1st Lieutenant. Interesting venue (I felt extremely overdressed waiting in line with people in shorts and sneakers) but it was kind of cool to have an "event" to go along with the ceremony, and not just of the cake-and-punch variety. It was a lot of fun, and I am so proud of my handsome husband!

Indonesian Peanut Chicken

Here's a new recipe! When I compiled our May menu, one of the ingredients for this recipe somehow didn't make it onto my grocery list.... and I still didn't realize I was missing the ingredient the day I actually assembled the meal... until about halfway through preparation. Classic cooking blunder. It was still pretty delicious, but I think that one ingredient would have made it fabulous. (The missing ingredient was chili sauce, by the way, and the lack of it made the chicken slightly dry, in my opinion.) I wasn't sure how I'd like the chopped red bell pepper on top, but it ended up being a great touch, an appropriate flavor to go with the peanutty taste and texture-riffic brown rice. This is a crockpot meal, so plan ahead!