30 weeks

GAH! I accidentally typed 39 weeks the first time! Whoa. Okay, I'm better now. That could send you into a panic if you let it (and if it were true, ha). :)

We are at 30 weeks today!! It feels kind of like when you come back from Spring Break: the rest of the semester just FLIES BY. I sense the next 10 weeks will be like that, especially since it has now been two months since we arrived in California, and that has flown by.

30 weeks -- 75% of the way there!

As far as projects go....

I have decided to wait on making a duvet cover for our queen bed. Washing the current comforter greatly helped my frustration with that room. It was just a bit dingy; now it's cleaner and I don't feel compelled to cover it up. :)

I'm past halfway on a little quilt for our newest niece, Maleia Allen, born Sept. 12. It's turning out SO CUTE, I almost can't stand it. I'm so glad, because I encountered a couple bumps along the way in the planning stage. Nothing that multiple trips to fabric stores couldn't alleviate!

sneak peek!

Still considering sewing up a diaper bag and constructing a slipcover for our armchair and ottoman. Neither of those are critical, but "nice to haves." I've found a great tutorial online for the diaper bag, and it doesn't look too hard (probably a couple-day project since I would be working on it in little snippets of time). For the slipcover, however, it's like a foreign language trying to decipher the instructions. I just haven't had the "oomph" (or undistracted time to concentrate) to figure it out. Yet. We shall see.

Higher priority is decorating the kids' room! We have received our moving money, so now we can go to town! Not really. :) But we did set aside a little bit for curtain rods, curtains, rugs, etc... as well as a second set of ABU's for Sean, and a washer and dryer. You know, just a few little things. It is such a blessing to be able to set aside money for them without impacting our monthly budget. We budget pretty carefully in order to make all the trips to Hawaii that we do, and stay out of debt, and plan ahead for Christmas and birthdays and random, recurring things. God has provided so abundantly for us and we are thankful.

So... I am off to clean the bathrooms while Caleb is at Grammy's! Cleaning them is so hard to do when he is around (and awake). That and vacuuming! Because he wants to ride the vacuum cleaner. Or hold the handle. Or generally not want Mommy to be able to vacuum. :)

27 weeks (as of 9/13)

Here we are, on the cusp of the third trimester... fewer than three months to go! We have started a "girl clothes" bin (among the numerous boy clothes bins we have!), and my mom got an overflowing laundry basket full of adorable girl clothes at a garage sale last weekend. Looking at tiny onesies and little dresses and hats and tights makes it sink in a little that there's a real live little person coming soon. :) We are excited. 

self-portrait, with self-timer!

I haven't really done much to prepare. I have done very little reading this time around... I hope I remember what labor is like (ha). I do want to tour some of the local hospitals, since I get to pick this time. No military facilities nearby means you go to a civilian provider, which is nice but then I have to make an informed choice! :-P I also want to decorate the nursery/kids' room, but we are holding off on extra expenditures until we get our moving money--- almost two months later, and the process still isn't finished. I've been bitten by the sewing bug lately, and am working on a couple projects. Will post those soon! I want to sew a duvet cover for our queen comforter, just need to find fabric or curtains or sheets to use. I'm also contemplating making a slipcover for our arm chair pre-baby, but that's a little daunting since it has curvy lines and it's a new endeavor. Purses and quilts are pretty simple in comparison! 

artsy shot

Life is good. We feel pretty settled, and I am working on enjoying the little moments, not stressing about getting everything done. Not much else to report!

Pictures to come of projects and park outings. :)
M

Counting my blessings

There are so many things we can be thankful for here. I've been wanting to catalog the "easy to take for granted" ones, so here goes. I'm sure there are more I will think of later!

1. Sidewalks in front of our house. This was one thing that bugged me every time I went jogging or walking from our house in Colorado. There were not very many sidewalks near our house, so I would have to walk on the street, evading cars and dealing with a slight slant to the road. Here there are tons of sidewalks, and neat neighborhoods to explore.

2. Two parks within walking distance. The closest park to our house in CO was 0.9 miles away-- not insurmountable, but it was sometimes enough to dissuade me from making the trek. (I am a pretty pathetic pregnant lady, very bad at wanting to exercise much, despite my earlier enthusiasm for going to the Y.) Now, we have a great park just around the corner from our house! We pass five houses (along the sidewalk), turn right, and Caleb sees the roof of the play structure down a block and says, "Slide? slide? slide? slide?"

3. Familiarity with the area. It's very nice to not have to look up directions or an address every time you want to leave the house! I already know how to get places, and going to the base is no sweat (used to commute there every day!). I am a little rusty on where specific offices/buildings are on base, but it's coming back to me. :) It's funny how what I once thought of as "all the way at the other end of town" takes, at most, 10 minutes to get to. I was used to driving 20 or 30 minutes to get most places in the Springs, since we lived on the north-eastern edge of town. We currently live north(ish?) of where my parents live, so I am having to get used to the fact that some things are south of me.

4. Caleb's moldability. He has started saying, unprompted, "choo choo train after dinner" when we put him in the high chair, even at snack time or breakfast time. It's so great to see (and hear) confirmation that he is absorbing at least some of our instruction! I have started reading Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson, and want to re-read Shepherding a Child's Heart and dive into Instructing a Child's Heart, both by Tedd Tripp, I believe. We need help!!!! Caleb distracts himself (and tries to distract us) when we are trying to discipline him-- recently he showed us his belly button while we were "having a talk." It's so hard to stay serious when he does stuff like that-- it's so cute!-- but at the same time it's super frustrating when he refuses to pay attention and tunes us out. It's very important that he learns to listen to us, especially in light of his new game of running away when we call him, to make us chase him. VERY bad if he were to run into the street. We are still working on that one...

5. Timing of our move. Fall Bible studies are just starting up, so we will hopefully be able to get plugged into a church fairly easily. We have visited five so far, one for each Sunday we have been here, and have some great options. I am looking forward to getting back into more of a routine with midweek Bible studies.

6. A healthy, uneventful pregnancy. Today (9/5) I had my first OB appointment with my new doctor here in CA, and it was great. (We are officially 25 weeks, 6 days today.) He wanted to do an ultrasound to check out the baby (in 2D and 3D!!!), and of course I was thrilled to get to see her! That's always a treat. Everything looked good, and measured on track with my existing due date, as far as the baby's head and abdomen size. It doesn't hurt when the doctor says you are "thin." :) It's such a miracle, so surreal to see a little human body inside you. She was kicking, too, in response to the pressing of the ultrasound probe. Very cool. I happen to think she's super cute!! Can't wait to meet her and see her up close and hold her. That's a special moment, meeting your baby for the first time.

Just chillin...

No more paparazzi, please!

7. The mild climate. It has been in the 60's and 70's here, which is 20-30 degrees cooler than it would be in Colorado Springs! When I was pregnant with Caleb in the summer, I remember being very uncomfortable, and my feet were often puffy. Here I haven't noticed having that condition once! It's more humid here too, with the nice ocean breeze; my skin always enjoys that.

8. An abundance of fresh produce. I have really been enjoying the farmer's markets here! We haven't gone to a "pick your own" place yet, but that is definitely on our family radar for sometime soon. This past weekend we went to the Avila Valley Barn with Mom and Dad and got watermelon, asparagus, corn, nectarines, strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries. SO YUMMY. I don't even like raspberries that much, but they were sooo good. I can't say I love watermelon, but maybe it's just bland, watery, pithy watermelon that I don't like. :P Fresh, primo-ripe fruit is just so good. I'm so thankful we have access to such a variety of fresh (and usually organic) fruits and veggies. I cannot WAIT for pumpkins. Caleb will really be old enough to enjoy picking out pumpkins this year, I think. Fall's my favorite season... and I love pumpkins. I just love harvest and hay and orange and red... and baking. Lots of baking. I bought the big box of butter at Costco today- four one-pound blocks, which is equivalent to 16 sticks. (Hey, it was way cheaper per pound than at the grocery store!) I usually slice the bricks into sticks, then freeze all but a couple. I have many, many good-looking recipes I want to try out-- strawberry bread, apricot breakfast muffins, autumn muffins. I LOVE cinnamon and nutmeg and cloves. I will let you know how these new recipes turn out. :)

9. My amazing husband. Not only does he give me the opportunity to have (beautiful) children, he takes care of us so well. He's so diligent, and more often than not, if I happen to run an errand while he is at home, the dishes are done when I come back! He likes to straighten, he plays with Caleb and puts him to bed most nights... He does laundry and gives good back rubs (it's a toss-up to me, which of those two is more romantic!). It's so sad to think about "falling out of love" or not wanting to be married anymore. It kills me to think about us drifting apart, and I don't want that to ever happen; I never want something to come between us. I used to wonder, How can you know if your marriage will make it? So many of them don't. So many people give up, even after 20 or 30 years of marriage. And I have decided, at this point, that I can only do my best with today, and 'a long obedience in the same direction' will Lord-willing result in a long, stable, happy marriage (happy in the sense of "we still enjoy hanging out with each other after 10 or 20 or 30 years," not in the "he will fulfill all my wishes" sense). As in so many areas, with marriage, I am responsible for being obedient to God today. It's impossible to guarantee where you might be in 20 years, but I know where I am today (most of the time!), and I can be faithful with the big or little things God has given me at this moment, whether it's changing messy diapers or respecting my husband, cleaning bathrooms or training a two-year-old. Any task can be done for God's glory, whether it's fun or not-so-fun; visible or transparent; important or just necessary.

10. Family close-by! This is a biggie, and I'm not just saying that because my mom reads my blog. :) It is such a huge blessing to be near family. We really missed that in Colorado, especially around holidays where we couldn't go home. (Looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas this year!) We get the blessing of awesome meals that I didn't have to cook, fellowship, wise counsel, a "home away from home," a place where people know you and love you... and have known you and loved you your entire life. They get the blessing of being able to invest in their grandson, and soon granddaughter, and of course their daughter and son-in-law. It has been a really neat element of moving back. We are enjoying the opportunities for date nights too, with the best babysitters around. :)

I'm sure there are many more things to recognize and appreciate, but for now I'll stop at the nice, round number of 10. :)

Talk soon,
M

Settling In

We have been in California for exactly three weeks now, and are settling in well. So far we have partaken in several Central Coast specialties, though we haven't taken a single picture:

San Luis Obispo Farmer's Market - one of the oldest and largest farmer's markets in CA, with an average of 10,000 people weekly. Lots of fresh fruit, restaurant stands, live music and entertainment (bands, jugglers, balloon animals, etc.) and random protestors warning of genetically-modified corn or quoting Bible verses. (You can even register to vote at one of the booths...)

Avila Beach - Caleb LOVED the water and let the waves come up over his legs. He didn't want to leave! He's getting much better about tolerating sand on his feet too. There's also a nice playground with slides and swings. We enjoyed lunch at a place called the Hula Hut, with amazing salads, sandwiches, and wraps (and clam chowder!). It was a beautiful, sunny day. Sean and I threw around our frisbee a little bit-- I can still bend over to pick it up okay, but I can tell those days are numbered as my tummy gets bigger! The seagulls rifled through our paper bag of snacks while we were down at the water! The bag was pretty much demolished, and they ate some bread and who knows what else. Ooops. A beautiful day all around.

Bonfire/BBQ at Grover Beach - Sean's squadron held a social event there last Friday night, and it was neat to meet new people (and reconnect with a few people I knew when I worked with the Training Group on base three years ago-- some of the current squadron members were my students when I taught in the Group!) It was a gorgeous day, warm enough for short sleeves, with an amazing sunset to finish off the evening. In central-coastal CA, you always bring a sweatshirt to the beach, even in the middle of the day, in case it is "socked in" or foggy. But we didn't need our hoodies! I ate way too much tri-tip and chicken, but it was just so good! A place in Lompoc called Floriano's catered the main dish (ie. the meat) and it was amazing. I ate about half a chicken, I think. I "helped" Sean with his plate after he was done, too. There were a bunch of other little kids that Caleb played with, which was fun! He had sand EVERYWHERE... made for a fun bathtime (and a very sandy tub).

local farmer's markets - most of the farmers provide organic produce and it's a fun experience to wander among the canopies and enjoy free samples of peaches, strawberries, or grapes. Haven't bought squash, local honey, flowers, lettuce, artisan bread, or tomatoes there yet. :) Mom and I (and Caleb) went this past Wednesday and got some nectarines, white peaches, apples, and strawberries. YUM!

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There are many, many places and things we want to rediscover as a family, introducing Caleb to places Mommy and Daddy went when they were just getting to know each other four years ago. We met in October of 2008, so we'll be coming up on "anniversaries" like becoming an item (Jan. 25, 2009), first date, first Valentine's Day, first kiss (that date's a secret!), engagement, first "I love you," etc. I enjoy reminiscing about stuff like that.

Here are some of the places we want to go, with or without Caleb:

Oso Flaco Lake hike

Avila Valley Barn (with pick-your-own fruit and petting zoo for Caleb!)

Point Sal hike - one I've done many times, with various friends

Montana de Oro State Park - one of our favorite places to hike and camp

Jalama Beach - we camped there with friends during Thanksgiving '09, before we were even dating!

Splash Cafe in Pismo Beach - famous for their clam chowder in bread bowls, it's not uncommon to see a line of people snaking out the door and around the corner of the building, waiting for chowder or fish and chips.

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We have also been able to have a couple different people over for dinner-- on Sunday we had over Sean's coworker Jon, who just PCS'd here too (with Italian sausage/zucchini/tomato pasta and amazing oatmeal chocolate-chip cookies).... and Tuesday night, our friend Melanie who lives next door now (Mexican stuffed shells, Greek salad, and fresh fruit).

It's been a busy couple of weeks! All the boxes in the garage are at least opened, though we will need to go through several of them and pare down (i.e. get rid of junk). We have lots and lots of linens we aren't using, and I figure someone else could be using them RIGHT NOW. How many twin comforters do we need, anyway??? We have two twin beds... and about five comforters. I am determined to consolidate my mementos into one large tub: whatever doesn't fit, goes... and if I want to add something new, I will need to make room or get rid of something else. Right now I have several medium-size tubs of various memento items... and numerous shoe boxes with every birthday card, recital program, and wedding invitation I've ever received (or so it seems)! Yesterday I worked through two smallish moving boxes, and it felt quite liberating to go from two cardboard boxes full, to a shoebox of small papers and blank, usable notepads.

We have had some good quality time with Mom and Dad-- especially since they have laundry facilities and internet! ;) We finally got our wireless stuff figured out, thanks to the Comcast guy.... still waiting to buy a washer and dryer until we get our move money sorted out with the military. We've enjoyed some awesome meals at their house and good hang-out time. Sean likes all the meat Mom cooks in her meals. :) My penny-pinching, meat-stretching ways have been found out! (But as long as Sean is okay with upping our food budget, and he is, I am okay with cooking with more meat.) Caleb frequently asks for "Grammy cars," "Grammy hold you," and "see Papa?" We are really grateful to be near family, and not just for the free babysitting. :)

Caleb has been doing okay in his toddler bed. We have been trying it out since we moved, with varying results. The first few nights he did great! Now, occasionally he'll get up multiple times during the night... or come super early to our room and say something adorable like, "Daddy sleeping? Hello, Daddy," or my favorite, "Come out, Mommy? Mommy breakfast, please?" It's such a weird experience to hear something cute like that when you are soooo not fully awake yet, and wishing you could sleep some more. Part of me does enjoy his cuteness and treasures it away, and part of me is just very, very tired. He's been getting up at 6:30 most days this week... so I have too, for the most part. I realize that some people may not consider 6:30 to be excessively early, but I am admittedly not a morning person... and not really a night owl either. I'm more of a 9 a.m.-9 p.m. person! HA! Especially while pregnant....

Today he played with my night-table items until about 7:20, when I finally got up. The last few days this week at nap time, he has made a game out of seeing how many times Mommy will put him back in his bed! On Wednesday I lasted about an hour before giving up and letting him out to play. He was fine, in a cheerful mood the rest of the day, though yawning more than normal. Mommy was the grumpy one, from not getting her nap and her wishes being defied! Off and on I have been having difficulty sleeping lately (thankfully, it's not every night). One night I woke up at 4 a.m., wide awake, and just read on the couch until the day really started (we don't have a table lamp in the bedroom yet so I went in the other room to let Sean sleep). I've had some leg cramps and limb discomfort that keep me awake, or wake me up. But it makes me even more grateful when I do get good sleep. I am grateful too that I can safely enjoy a cup of coffee, and can stomach the taste/smell of it. During the first trimester, you aren't supposed to drink coffee, or consume caffeine from any source, really, because they think it might increase your chance of miscarriage-- I'm not sure how strong the link is between the two, but hey, it's worth refraining just in case. For awhile there (and I do love me my morning coffee!) I would make a cup, then take about two sips before not being able to drink any more. Thankfully, now I can enjoy it again, for whatever reason.

Anyway.... all that to say, I am usually tired at any point in the day, and trying to enjoy what free time I have, when Caleb is playing nicely with cars or trains, because I know those days are numbered. Soon, even if The Toddler is gainfully occupied, there will be an infant needing a feeding or a changing or a burping! It's still hard to believe. Even with feeling and looking increasingly pregnant, I still can't quite fathom the fact that there will be a new baby in our lives in less than four months. It will come soon enough, so I want to enjoy time with "just Caleb" as much as I can. Even if I am tired and NOT a fan of battles of wills.

It's really been a challenge for me lately, the stage he is in! I don't mind the outright kicking and screaming when he doesn't want to leave the park/beach/playground.... I just pick him up and away we go. Either other people will understand, or they won't. I am getting less and less worried about what other people think about my screaming child. The big tantrum is somehow easier to deal with because at this point I can somewhat control the outcome (by picking him up and walking away, or strapping him in his car seat, etc.) I don't try to reason with him or "ask nicely" for him to obey; I just "help" him obey. What gets my goat is the mischievous look he gets on his face when he is testing the boundaries, or the times he intentionally disobeys! He knows what we want him to do, and he does the opposite. Or throws food on the floor right after I just told him that was not okay. Repeatedly. That is the most tiring aspect of parenting, I think. Reinforcing things over and over. And staying patient when it is messy or exhausting or frustrating. It points us back to Christ, because we are not adequate for the task. He can help us, and give us wisdom, for which I am so thankful.

And now I am off to rest while Caleb naps! I lowered the mattress on the crib today, from the "infant" setting to "keeps in toddlers." He and I tried starting his nap in his bed today... then when he got up five minutes after I left, into the crib he went. He fussed for about five minutes, and is now quiet. I am totally okay with going back to the crib for awhile. There is no rule that says a child has to sleep in a toddler bed by a certain age, or ever. He will get more, better sleep this way... I will get a little time to rest or be otherwise productive. We are both happy when he wakes up-- win win!

We are pleased to announce...

God is blessing us with a baby GIRL! We are thrilled, and I am already starting to brainstorm a "kids' room"  decor scheme, something neither too girly nor overly masculine. (Current plan is Americana, with deep red, dark denim, and a creamy taupe. I can't wait to make a quilt for Caleb's bed!) We decided to make our second bedroom a guest/sewing room, and the third bedroom The Kids' Room. A toddler bed, crib, and bookshelf fit very nicely in it! :) She will probably be in our room for the first six months or so after she's born, so Caleb can still play in there unhindered. When Caleb was an infant, we used a co-sleeper next to our bed that worked very well for night-time feedings. He has still been sleeping in a crib in his room, since he hasn't tried to climb out yet (knock on wood), and has not yet slept in his toddler bed, but we are planning on trying it out tonight!

We have arrived safely in California, after a four-day road trip through Colorado, Utah, Arizona (very briefly), and Nevada. We have been staying with my parents until we get our house put together, and it is coming along nicely. I hope to download our pictures from the trip soon so I can put together a post with pictures! We saw some AMAZING, gorgeous Creation while we were traveling and I can't wait to share it.

During the trip, people (strangers) started asking me when I was due, so I think I am looking pregnant now. :) Definitely starting to feel pregnant! Like... walk a little funny, can't bend over pregnant. :)

It's bath time for Caleb, so I better go!!!

More soon!
M

20 weeks

I am officially 20 weeks along today! Now, at the halfway mark, it does seem like it has gone by quickly so far. If I could ask my 8-weeks-along self if it were going by quickly, I'm sure I would say no. :) That is one blessing from the move, that it's keeping me very preoccupied! I did tell Sean the other day, in a moment of weakness, that I am ready to feel normal again! You just feel weird and different when you are pregnant; there are so many little things that are minor discomforts, and sometimes painful symptoms, but not usually life-threatening. I have been having trouble with carpal tunnel, and tingliness in my hands and feet, partly due to retaining water,  partly due to circulation issues because your blood volume increases by 50%, and exacerbated by the heat we have experienced this summer-- high 90's for weeks in a row, without the afternoon thunderstorms that cool things off and display God's awesomeness. :) That is one thing I will miss about living here, the amazing weather! We do not have air conditioning, which I acknowledge is a luxury, and our house has gotten up to 89 degrees inside several times, only 5 or 10 degrees cooler than outside. There is no way I am even thinking about turning the oven on. (Now I understand the "yay, it's winter, I can bake again" sentiment. I never got it before.) I've been trying to drink lots of water.... and have resorted to going to Target or Barnes and Noble (with a Lego play area!) a few times, anything to get some cool air.

At my OB appointment today, I got weighed and blood-pressured and we got to hear the baby's heartbeat-- in the 150's, normal and good. It's been interesting to me (I've been treasuring these things in my heart) that each nurse/midwife I've seen has remarked how perfect and healthy this pregnancy is-- everything from my fundal height (top of the uterus), to the baby's heartbeat, to blood-test results. Maybe they say that fairly often, and I am just sensitive to the fact that it's not a given: positive pregnancy test, pregnancy, baby. Or maybe God is just blessing the socks off this new little baby before he/she is even born! At any rate, I am extremely grateful for each good report received.

It's weird to be concerned about not gaining enough weight! I have only gained about 5 lbs, and should be in the eight- to 11-pound range. Not a huge concern, but the midwife did recommend upping my calories a little bit, to shoot for 2300 a day; and to eat five to six smaller meals, not three big ones. Your digestive track (or is it tract?) slows down during pregnancy, probably so you can absorb as many nutrients as possible, but it can also result in less-pleasant side-effects. Ahem. And of course if you're not getting enough calories total, that can affect weight gain. My blood pressure was pretty low, 106/52, but she said that was normal for the second trimester. I usually have pretty low blood pressure anyway. I guess the real concern is high blood pressure.

Sean says he has felt kicks! The ones I feel from the inside are getting stronger and stronger! That helps it sink in for me that there's a real baby, a distinctly unique human being, in there. We may be able to find out tomorrow, if the baby cooperates, whether it is a boy or girl. It's not a 100% satisfaction guaranteed proposition, determining baby's sex by ultrasound, but usually it can be pretty definitive. :) Will Caleb retain his title as Only Male Grandchild On Both Sides??? Or will there be TWO Allen men-in-the-making? (Sean and I were talking the other day, prompted by a Focus on the Family broadcast about parenting teenagers (yikes!), and we decided we are going to see our children as men and women in the making, for that is the goal and the eventual reality, Lord willing!)

I will be sure to post what we find out tomorrow. :)

We leave the Springs in less than a week. I'm trying not to think about it, and trying not to fret about all the loose ends remaining. Christina encouraged me yesterday when sharing about her own endeavors to "choose joy" in the midst of a stretching season. There's always a choice... and right now, I am going to choose to take a nap! We have been staying up late recently and it is taking a toll.

Here's a 20-week picture! I have only taken a few of them this time around (something about having a toddler and a pending move and just being plain busy!). I was thinking I should try and include Caleb in the photos, as proof that I'm not recycling photos from my first pregnancy! ;) I'm grateful to have a pair of regular shorts that still fit. Some shirts still work, like this blue one... while others have been relegated to the back of the closet for now. Only 20 more weeks or so before we meet this new little person! I'm going to try and enjoy the journey, i.e. not complain about pregnancy discomforts and instead count my blessings.

I would be remiss if I didn't include a gratuitous shot of Caleb. I love him more and more each day! I'm so glad God gives you this overwhelming affection for your children. They need that buffer when they are in a particularly challenging season. :) Little goofball. His new skills are 1) jumping with both feet simultaneously, 2) singing along to the ABC song or Jesus Loves Me, 3) using possessives like "my turn" or "Mommy's feet," and 4) getting up onto Mommy and Daddy's bed all by himself. He will be two in less than six weeks!!!

Talk soon,

M

Why I walked away from Facebook

Well, I finally did it. I deactivated my Facebook account on July 17, 2012. Deactivating is not as permanent as deleting, but it is enough for me.

I needed to. I've known I needed to for some time now, but I didn't have the guts-- or the self-discipline?-- to do so. It was becoming almost addictive, the urge to check "just for a minute" and see what was new. I was starting to think in status-update format. I was becoming discontent, comparing my life to other people's. I was letting myself get distracted in the middle of tasks during weekends, so much so that Sean asked if I could refrain from hopping on Facebook at every little lull in our day. I was even feeling a little too exposed, self-inflicted of course, but exposed to the world in a way that is no longer appealing. In general, I don't really like being the center of attention, so why would I share with almost 500 people my random thoughts?? It just doesn't make sense any more.

Let me clarify a point: I don't think Facebook is evil, or always a waste of time. I love seeing pictures of my friends' kids and families; I love sharing about Caleb's activities; I love the ease and accessibility for staying in touch with people and even planning group events. What I don't love, however, is the waste of time it can become. It's a matter of "good, better, best" for me. At this point, I have decided that it is "better" to step away and remove at least one distraction from my life. There's still the big old Internet to wrestle with, but I'm okay with that (can't really get away from it, because it's so darn useful for looking up information in the phonebooks-all-but-obsolete era).

There are so many things I want to try, to learn, to do! I am starting to realize those things may never happen if I am squandering my life away, 15 minutes or an hour at a time, vegging on other people's updates. It adds up, and I am turning off the slow leak and tightening up the faucet to free up more time for other pursuits!

I want to learn to compost and start a garden. I want to read more, good brain-growing books about substantial topics, not just fiction (though that is enjoyable too). I want to sew more, maybe even to the point of it becoming a source of income. I want to write more, create more, plan ahead more. I want to learn how to make my own tortillas and pita bread and experiment with new foods. I want to be more focused, more efficient, and really work hard when I'm working.... as well as play hard when it's time to play, instead of sneaking in (guiltily) my reading of blogs or Web-surfing as a procrastination when I am supposed to be working.

After we move, I plan on working through Tsh Oxenreider's book, One Bite at a Time: 52 Projects for Making Life Simpler. Sean and I already do some of the projects, like make a monthly budget (#28), use the envelope system [taking out cash for variable expenses like food, haircuts, etc.] (#48), plan your menus (#5), cook staples from scratch (#26), and make a debt-free plan (#2). But there are many I'd like to incorporate into our lives, like.... create a family tradition (#46), eat locally (#43), streamline your mail [a big frustration for me!!] (#8),  plan weekly meetings with your spouse (#13), and schedule regular date nights [something we are really bad at] (#16). I think it will be fun to document our progress over the coming months. I don't know yet if I will try to put a time deadline on myself. I'm certainly not going to try for completing one project a week-- some may take longer than a week, some shorter, but I want it to remain fun and motivating, not a depressing chore to slog through the entire list on some self-imposed timetable where I get discouraged if I can't keep up. I also plan on switching things up and NOT going in order! Hopefully my Type A-ness can handle that. :) I know that life happens; things come at us that we didn't anticipate and we have to compensate. Even things you know are coming can throw you for a loop, i.e. new baby. :) But I also know that hard things are often the most rewarding.

I think I'm getting better at focusing already! I refrained from checking my e-mail during the entirety of the creation of this post, even though I could see the (1) on my e-mail tab beckoning to me, Read me!!! Open me!!! Life will not be complete until you have no new messages!

Um, not true. That's another thing I'm going to work on at some point... Project #27: streamline your e-mail. No need to check it 20 times a day. That too can feel almost like an addiction. When I start this particular project, I'm going to try twice a day, so I really "have time" to answer things instead of just reading them and not responding.

I will keep you posted! Look forward to more blog posts in the future-- my minimum goal is a monthly synopsis of our family's adventures, but I'm pretty sure I will be posting more frequently, now that I will have more time at my disposal. It's so liberating already!!

Talk soon. :)
M