Why I walked away from Facebook

Well, I finally did it. I deactivated my Facebook account on July 17, 2012. Deactivating is not as permanent as deleting, but it is enough for me.

I needed to. I've known I needed to for some time now, but I didn't have the guts-- or the self-discipline?-- to do so. It was becoming almost addictive, the urge to check "just for a minute" and see what was new. I was starting to think in status-update format. I was becoming discontent, comparing my life to other people's. I was letting myself get distracted in the middle of tasks during weekends, so much so that Sean asked if I could refrain from hopping on Facebook at every little lull in our day. I was even feeling a little too exposed, self-inflicted of course, but exposed to the world in a way that is no longer appealing. In general, I don't really like being the center of attention, so why would I share with almost 500 people my random thoughts?? It just doesn't make sense any more.

Let me clarify a point: I don't think Facebook is evil, or always a waste of time. I love seeing pictures of my friends' kids and families; I love sharing about Caleb's activities; I love the ease and accessibility for staying in touch with people and even planning group events. What I don't love, however, is the waste of time it can become. It's a matter of "good, better, best" for me. At this point, I have decided that it is "better" to step away and remove at least one distraction from my life. There's still the big old Internet to wrestle with, but I'm okay with that (can't really get away from it, because it's so darn useful for looking up information in the phonebooks-all-but-obsolete era).

There are so many things I want to try, to learn, to do! I am starting to realize those things may never happen if I am squandering my life away, 15 minutes or an hour at a time, vegging on other people's updates. It adds up, and I am turning off the slow leak and tightening up the faucet to free up more time for other pursuits!

I want to learn to compost and start a garden. I want to read more, good brain-growing books about substantial topics, not just fiction (though that is enjoyable too). I want to sew more, maybe even to the point of it becoming a source of income. I want to write more, create more, plan ahead more. I want to learn how to make my own tortillas and pita bread and experiment with new foods. I want to be more focused, more efficient, and really work hard when I'm working.... as well as play hard when it's time to play, instead of sneaking in (guiltily) my reading of blogs or Web-surfing as a procrastination when I am supposed to be working.

After we move, I plan on working through Tsh Oxenreider's book, One Bite at a Time: 52 Projects for Making Life Simpler. Sean and I already do some of the projects, like make a monthly budget (#28), use the envelope system [taking out cash for variable expenses like food, haircuts, etc.] (#48), plan your menus (#5), cook staples from scratch (#26), and make a debt-free plan (#2). But there are many I'd like to incorporate into our lives, like.... create a family tradition (#46), eat locally (#43), streamline your mail [a big frustration for me!!] (#8),  plan weekly meetings with your spouse (#13), and schedule regular date nights [something we are really bad at] (#16). I think it will be fun to document our progress over the coming months. I don't know yet if I will try to put a time deadline on myself. I'm certainly not going to try for completing one project a week-- some may take longer than a week, some shorter, but I want it to remain fun and motivating, not a depressing chore to slog through the entire list on some self-imposed timetable where I get discouraged if I can't keep up. I also plan on switching things up and NOT going in order! Hopefully my Type A-ness can handle that. :) I know that life happens; things come at us that we didn't anticipate and we have to compensate. Even things you know are coming can throw you for a loop, i.e. new baby. :) But I also know that hard things are often the most rewarding.

I think I'm getting better at focusing already! I refrained from checking my e-mail during the entirety of the creation of this post, even though I could see the (1) on my e-mail tab beckoning to me, Read me!!! Open me!!! Life will not be complete until you have no new messages!

Um, not true. That's another thing I'm going to work on at some point... Project #27: streamline your e-mail. No need to check it 20 times a day. That too can feel almost like an addiction. When I start this particular project, I'm going to try twice a day, so I really "have time" to answer things instead of just reading them and not responding.

I will keep you posted! Look forward to more blog posts in the future-- my minimum goal is a monthly synopsis of our family's adventures, but I'm pretty sure I will be posting more frequently, now that I will have more time at my disposal. It's so liberating already!!

Talk soon. :)
M