Assorted Ramblings

This week has been good so far! It honestly took me awhile to recover from our busy, busy week of camping, promotion, and garage sale, all back to back events. I've been going for walks a little more consistently-- three days in a row last week-- but that area could still use a little improvement. Sometime I want to take a camera with me to capture some of the amazing scenery and fascinating clouds that refresh me along the way (thank you, God!). You'll know if I ever do manage to take a camera; I'll likely post any particularly pretty shots I get!

Sean and I really enjoy "Home Depot dates," mostly window shopping, brain storming, and daydreaming about the possibilities for future home projects: anything from houseplants to wood floors and outdoor decks. We have yet to spend very much money there. It would be easy to spend all our spare time fixing up the house, but while we want to take good care of it, maybe even increase its curb appeal, we don't want it to consume our lives and leave us unavailable for other things, like PEOPLE! ...who aren't "things" at all. We know there is more to life than material things, though we can get genuine pleasure out of tangible objects... like the thrill of spying the first little green sprouts in your garden, watching plants grow and change before your very eyes as you water them and watch to make sure they get the proper amount of sun or shade. That's probably what being a parent will be like, only on a much grander scale: often stopping to stare in awe at what God makes and does. I believe it's perfectly acceptable (and good) to do those everyday things like cook a delicious meal or cultivate a garden or create a welcoming, comfortable environment in your home. God isn't against pleasure; He made the earth and earthly things for our enjoyment. The awesomest part is when we can recognize it's all from Him and because of Him and say thank you for those simple things as we enjoy them.

Sean and I had a really good talk today about parenting, and how do you know what is "age appropriate" to share with your child? Not only in the context of the "birds and the bees" talks, but other biblical concepts like submission and obedience and God's sovereignty. The world contains plentiful confusion, tantalizing counterfeits, and outright lies about what God has said. How do we explain "what makes a man a man and not a woman?" or "how can God have always existed, and not have a beginning or an end?" or "why do we have to obey God (and by extension, mom and dad)?" I can only imagine the kinds of questions we'll get. :) Kids are so inquisitive! And it's so crucial to give them the truth, so they can develop a solid foundation for right thinking as they mature and encounter distortions or perversions of truth. I've been studying I John lately and much of it (so far! I'm in chapter 2) deals with light and darkness, knowing truth (knowing God) and recognizing false teachers, having fellowship with God and not the world--- so many dichotomies, though they don't always appear so "black and white" to an undiscerning eye.

We feel a strong responsibility to not only clearly express God's truth to our children, but to live out our beliefs so that they will see Christ is our treasure. We want them to see there is more to life than living in a nice house or keeping your grass green. Life is about living for Someone other than ourselves. I often "forget" how real eternity is and focus on such paltry, fleeting things, like my feelings about a particular circumstance or my cravings for comfort or security or pleasure. But God's truth about life, both the temporal now and eternal forever-life, is the "truest truth" there is. What a big job, passing that on to little growing people. But along with the responsibility comes much grace (which we are already praying for) and wisdom, as we ask Him for it. I think of my parents and others I know and respect, and I realize that God can and does use sinners for His work, to accomplish His purposes in our lives and our children's. Convenient, since we are all sinners. :) I know my parents aren't perfect, yet they still taught me so much and are now some of the most-trusted people in my life. God did (and is still doing) good things in my life through them, and I'm so thankful!

Anyway.... lots of big thoughts in our hearts lately as we contemplate the ride we are close to embarking on. To me it feels very much like a roller coaster ride, at the point where you are slowly ascending that first big slope, hearing that chunka-chunka-chunka sound of the belt pulling you up the track, strapped in with a "too late now!!" sort of anticipation, knowing that you have made your choice and a biiiiiiig drop is just over the crest. I wonder what moment in life will correspond with that instant of weightlessness as you almost hover at the top-- now you can see so far in every direction and you're almost motionless in the open air, but you can also look straight down at the steep drop directly before you-- before gravity takes hold of you and you are screaming ahead at a much-too-fast speed and maybe feeling a little panicky about the intensity of what's now imminent. Yep, that's what it feels like. Surreal and intangible now, hard to imagine our baby's "really real," even though I feel movement in my tummy daily.... I wonder when it will sink in. When we're holding him after he's born? When we rock him, or change his diaper, or snuggle with him? When he's sitting up or crawling or walking? When he's holding his hand out for the car keys? :) I know it's taken several months to get used to really, truly being married (eight months tomorrow!). It is wonderful, but almost doesn't feel real sometimes. We've had a few relational bumps to know, okay... this is real. :) We're not perfect and won't always succeed at honoring each other. It's not a perpetual honeymoon (especially because real life entails bills and "discussions" and things you "have" to do versus getting to goof off all the time); there are tough, stressful moments and sometimes we hurt each other with our sin. We even had a "what are you talking about?!" discussion the other day where it took awhile to get on the same page and truly understand what each other was saying and meaning, due (mostly) to those male-female translational difficulties. It happens. I'm thankful those moments are rare, but they do happen. We know we are committed to each other for life, and we know we will not stop loving, never stop trying. We are growing, and it is good.

And... I've needed a nap since about 4 p.m. today, so I think I'll close for now and go to bed for an eight- or nine-hour "nap" til morning. :) Ultrasound tomorrow! Willl keep you posted.