Tummy time, sun, & snuggles

Sean LOVES his kids so much, all three of them

Caleb being silly and "helping" Chloe with tummy time. He likes to join in when she is practicing. :)

I LOVE my kids so much. It's even more amazing than I thought it would be to be a parent, their parent.

This is Caleb's "I crack myself up" face. He was giggling hysterically by this point.

Snuggles with Chloe... who has had enough affection for the moment!

We call her "mini Mommy" sometimes :)

Grammy loves her snuggles too!! Man, does Caleb get excited when the doorbell rings!

We had to do a little photo shoot with Chloe's awesome, cute-as-can-be sun hat. Yes, she's also wearing a jacket. :) It can be windy here in the spring! Sunny but windy...

Love her soft, squishy cheeks!!

{12 in 13} April update

Four days, folks. Four days. That's how far I made it into my daily Bible-reading plan for the month before I missed a day.

But you know what? I'm all about finishing the race, even if I mess up along the way. I am going to persevere. I haven't been keeping track of how many days I have missed or not missed, I am just going to try again each morning.

One way that this is going to happen is that I have joined "The 6 a.m. Club." One of my dear sister-friends sent me a book called Shopping for Time, by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters (of girltalk fame) which builds the book around an analogy. The authors describe a well-planned-out shopping expedition, where the shoppers clip coupons, make lists and maintain their focus on the end goal, moving from store to store until they accomplish their mission. We always want the best deal, the most for our money. How much more should we be intentional about how we "spend" our time, which is not, in fact, an unlimited resource? They offer five tips for 'making the most of every opportunity':

1) Rise early
2) Sit still (at Jesus' feet)
3) Sit and plan (taking a personal retreat)
4) Consider people (evaluating relationships carefully)
5) Plan to depend (being productive in daily life)

Under the first category the authors bring up the idea of the "club" they started in their family to help each other get up earlier. (Theirs is "The 5 a.m. Club," but I have little desire to go quite that far... at this point in time...) They emphasize the importance of sitting at Jesus' feet first thing in the morning, before everyone else gets up, before the day's demands descend on unsuspecting households, and you find yourself merely surviving, 'same song, different verse.' It's a pretty solid point, I think, that it's crucial to "Eph. 6 it" as my friend Mallory says; we face trials and challenges so much better, and we respond so much more kindly to others (esp. the little people at our feet!), when our minds are prepared for action, and our hearts are refreshed by the truth of the Word.

I know I do not have the self-discipline to get up... and stay up... when I try to get up early. I have demonstrated that to myself often, especially since my kids will sleep until at least 7 usually, sometimes until 8 a.m. I have enlisted the help of Mallory once again. She has graciously agreed to give me a little ringy-ding each morning at 6:05 my time. It's working! Because even though the call is only 30 seconds or so, I know I would be more miserable if I let myself down and got back in bed, than if I just slogged through those first few minutes of waking-up-when-I'd-rather-be-hugging-my-pillow. And it doesn't hurt to hear her cheerful Southern voice, either! :) Love you, Mal.

I've been enjoying that hour or so when the house is quiet. (I can see why Sean likes it.) I keep the curtains drawn though, because, frankly, I bet I will someday enjoy seeing the sky's early-morning dimness, but for now I don't want to be reminded that it's not light yet. :)

A note on the {12 in 13} adventure: I'm finding, as I pursue these monthly goals, that I've really been learning a lot about myself, and about how to live this life well. Even though I have been far from nailing every goal 100%, it's been so neat to experiment, in a way, and strive toward something. Ultimately I want to strive toward "finishing the race." (Can you tell I'm doing a Bible study on Hebrews?) But it's been cool to see what works, what doesn't, and to test myself in different ways. I'm both scientist and guinea pig in this endeavor. :)

I'm excited for next month: the Bull Canyon Run is only a few weeks away! That race will seem easy in comparison to getting up early every day. To each his or her own!

Until then... look to Jesus, friends!

Potty training journal II

After the first several days where I felt like we were constantly (I know that's an exaggeration) cleaning the floor and changing his outfit, Caleb had a day with no misses! Every time that day when he needed to go, he said, I need to pee, then went and got on the potty. He is peeing into the potty most of the time now, with just one or two misses per day. Sometimes when he is playing or hanging out in the kitchen, he will stop, look down, and a puddle materializes. But more and more he is realizing the urge and making it to the potty!

We are still working on pooping into the potty. If he is already sitting on the potty, he does well, but he doesn't necessarily stop playing to go #2 on the potty. I have some underwear to clean today, and they're more than just wet. Ahem. Is this TMI?? I feel like it's important to document, but I realize this is pretty detailed!

Yesterday, he had a couple misses but stayed dry during his nap-- that is good progress!! You can't really "teach" someone not to pee while they are sleeping. :) That's more of a maturity thing, or being smart about limiting their liquid intake for an hour or two before sleep. (??)

There have been several days where he has successfully gone first thing after waking up, or mid-morning. I think we will do Pull-ups for church, Bible study, and errands... We haven't tried using public restrooms yet, and I'm really wishing we had one of those portable potties for kids.

I might just bring our kid potty in the car and try that... but Caleb likes to climb around in the back of the Pilot, so he may be distracted if I put him and the potty back there and expect him to just sit on it and go. Why sit still when you can climb over the seat, push the light buttons, and grab the handles in the ceiling? :)

The last few days Caleb has really resisted going to the potty. But if we just say, it's time to sit on the potty, even if you don't go, and "help" or "encourage" him (i.e. carry him kicking and screaming) to sit down, he will usually go. :) We are working on having a good attitude in obeying Mommy and Daddy. I am so grateful he is doing so well at calming himself down enough to talk in a regular voice. We will often ask him, when he starts crying or whining, "Please try again in a normal voice." It might take a few tries, but he really does have a remarkable ability to do it, for a two-year-old. He's a special kid and even in the challenges, I am so grateful God gave him to us for a time.

Potty training journal

Here's a recap of the first four days of potty training, not completely sequential. We took a break for Easter weekend and resumed this past Monday.

DAY ONE (3/26)

I didn't really keep a log of what we did the first day. I think we just sat a bunch on the potty, and stayed in the bathroom. I do remember he peed on both rugs we have in the master bath, two separate incidents. :)

Day One Tally: 1 pee, 1 poop, 3 misses

Caleb and Daddy hanging out on the potty, cars in hand -- 3/26

DAY TWO (3/27)

After almost a solid hour of sitting on the potty (at his request, I tried to give him breaks), Caleb peed into it! He went just a little bit at first, then he went some more! Woohoo! He is motivated. Especially for those M & M's, which I have no problem using as a reward in the beginning days of training. He still has to really concentrate to pee on demand, but it is starting to click! He pooped in the potty too! I had put a diaper on him for lunch, and I smelled it coming, so we took the diaper off, he sat down and he went #2!

After his nap, he sat on the potty for almost an hour and a half, and.... nothing. We gave up and put on a diaper for dinner. About 20 minutes later, he exclaimed, "I peeing!" He was right. That is also a sign of progress. At one point, he wasn't aware of when he was urinating.

It hasn't been instant, but he is working toward toilet independence. I have found this exercise to be good for us. He and I have been bonding as we've been spending time together and I've been observing him closely.

Day Two Tally: 1 pee, 1 poop, 0 misses*

*I think the zero misses is due to the fact that Caleb was parked on the potty most of the morning, not because he could hold it. :)

DAY THREE (4/1)

Mom/Grammy graciously took a "shift" of potty training in the morning, a few hours of sitting with him in the bathroom. They read books together, and he did pretty well! I'm not sure he would have gone into the potty if he weren't already sitting down on it, but at least it's the right sensation. I feel bad for her; he was very productive, but it was of the smelly variety... She is an amazing grandmother who is willing to clean up stinky messes! I was feeling very tired and worn out from the Easter festivities-- and truly, still recovering from our Hawaii trip-- and just did not have patience for the task.

We put on a diaper for nap through dinnertime, and resumed training the following morning.

Day Three Tally: 2 poops, 1 pee

DAY FOUR (4/2)

I think today was the first time Caleb sat down on the potty and immediately started going, on purpose. Pretty awesome!! That was after two "misses" (peeing on floor) and one "catch" (peeing into potty) during the morning. Since that first intentional time, he has sat down and peed three more times! At lunch (in training undies) he said, "I want to pee," walked over, pulled his undies down, sat down and went into the  potty!! (second intentional one) He is getting it. :) It's a good thing, too, because I was starting to despair. I really thought today was the last day I'd work on it with him; maybe he just needs more time, I thought. It didn't seem like anything was changing-- other than his clothes, haha. :) He didn't seem to be able to tell when he was going to pee; he just noticed when he started peeing and his feet got wet.

Today, after the first miss, he started splashing in it and trying to slip and slide on the tile floor. THANKFULLY, we have only had to clean tile so far.... no carpet. I try to keep him on the tile when he's "practicing," i.e. not in a diaper.

It has been draining, because along with this skill he's learning, which takes a lot of effort and patience on both participants' parts (Mommy and Caleb), there have been a LOT of behavioral issues all day long, and I wasn't sure if they were related. He doesn't want to sit at the table for dinner. He doesn't want to put on jammies at bedtime. In the morning, he doesn't want to put on clothes. It's probably hard to take such a big developmental step; it's a big change and a big progression into "growing up" to become toilet trained. Caleb has been very emotional, and pretty testy of boundaries, just like when he first turned two, and I also despaired of surviving that. I really didn't know how I was going to make it. I would kind of half-joke with other moms, but I really meant it when I said I didn't know how to get through it. It's really, really hard to deal with meltdowns and strong-willed-ness. The word "obstinate" comes to mind... He had been resisting putting on underwear; now he's resisting putting on a diaper for naps. Pull-ups, here we come! He tends to want to not get up from the potty and wants to just sit there and read books for hours (which is pretty incredible, but not when you actually have to go somewhere or eat a meal or go to bed, etc).

For naptime today, he is wearing underwear, and I fully expect to change some sheets today. :) We have been letting him sleep in his "red bed" (toddler bed with a red-and-white comforter), so I put his potty in the room and told him he could ask me for help if he wanted to go potty during nap. If he falls asleep, we're in trouble.

A few hours later... Well, he didn't exactly nap, but he did pee into his potty! And he came and wanted to show me. Over the course of the rest of the day, he had several successes, all catches and no misses in the afternoon/evening.

And we didn't have to change the sheets. :) He was on a roll!! It seemed to really click. He would get up and sit on the potty, then voila, success. Sean and I wondered together how it would go from here, since he seems to be doing so well.

Look, Ma! I peed! -- 4/2 -- notice the laundry basket with wet clothes/towels in background

Day Four Tally: 2 misses, 1 catch (happened to pee while sitting), 8 intentional pees into potty!

DAY FIVE (4/3)

Lots of peeing... some of it into the potty. Most of it onto the floor (or the driveway-- we went outside for some fresh air in the morning). It was a pretty rough morning. I don't think we had any catches, and I wondered if Caleb still remembered how to do his recently-acquired skill.

Our friend Nicole (Nikki, or "Mickey" to Caleb) GRACIOUSLY sat with Caleb for two hours in the afternoon, so that I could go for a run and run an errand. He is happy to sit on the potty for hours and look at books; that's all he wanted to do that afternoon. He sometimes does NOT want to take a break or put on underpants (which is baffling yet cute; he'll say, "No, Mommy, want to pee again," then when nothing comes out, he'll exclaim, "Peeeeee! Like dat"). Nikki was amazingly gracious, because Caleb had success of both varieties, and she handled it without complaint. I had told her she could call me if he used the potty, and I would come home since I went running in the adjacent neighborhood. Cleaning up someone else's mess is far from my favorite thing to do, so I didn't want her to have to do that. That goes above and beyond, in my book!

Honestly, for my "run" I walked for a few minutes to warm up, saw a park, and sat down on a park bench. I had used up all my "oomph," a.k.a. mental willpower, during the morning and didn't have the motivation to run. It was a gorgeous day, mid-70's, lots of people at the park because it's Spring Break this week.... I'll admit I laid down on the park bench with Chloe in the jogging stroller nearby and closed my eyes. Approximately five minutes later, she started crying and I realized it was time for her to eat. I nursed her sitting there on the bench, then put her back in the stroller and jogged home.

Mom and Dad gave Sean and me a date night, so they helped Caleb use the potty in the evening. I think he went a time or two for them.

Day Five Tally: ??? I forgot to keep track, but I think there were about 3 misses, and 3-4 catches

DAY SIX (4/4) 

Lately Caleb has been coming into our room when he hears my alarm clock go off. That's good for being held accountable.... but bad because I always crave a little more "snuggle under the covers" time and those first few minutes after I wake up I have to drag myself out of bed. Once I'm up I feel pretty chipper, for the most part. I have seriously become a lie-in-bed junkie. It's one of my favorite things to do. I'm not sure why. (Ok, I know why... um, having kids???!!)  Anyway. Today, while I was still dragging myself out of bed, Caleb went into the kitchen, where the potty was, and peed into it all by himself. Way to go, guy! That was a good start to the day.

Yesterday during my errands I bought some Pull-Ups, which are pretty much really expensive diapers. :) But they change color when wet. And they mimic real underpants because you step into them and pull them up. I must admit the color-changing effect is convenient. :) I think I will try to save those for naps and nights, because they wick the moisture away and Caleb is less aware that he's wet. I'd much rather do extra laundry than pay for pull-ups.

This morning Grammy came over and read books with Caleb for awhile, and he did pee into the potty several times (maybe 3 more times?). He has spent quite a bit of time on the potty today. He is really struggling with big emotions. Huge emotions. And often, I'll give him two choices but he wants neither of them. It's hard when he fixates on something he can't have, or I don't want to give him (like running around naked, not a habit I want to establish, even though it's cute).

This morning he sat on my lap in a bath towel for 30 minutes because he took a bath, but didn't want to put clothes on. I'm trying to be more patient with him, instead of manhandling him to do what I want.

Once we made it to his bedroom, where his clothes are, he put on his own shirt, mostly by himself. Usually I have been dressing him, but he is to the point where he says, "I want to do it all by myself." Literally. He is such a verbal child. It's pretty amazing how well he talks for a 2 1/2 year-old. Today he said he wanted to put his shirt on himself. I pointed out he could put his head into the bottom of the shirt then through the head hole, and let him try it. It was cute, he got it past his head so it was around his neck, then he tried to put his hand in the arm hole from the outside instead of up through the inside. All the little things we take for granted, huh?

It's been very trying, this conquering-of-a-big-milestone. I am thankful he is sleeping during naptime today. He needs it, and Mommy needs a break.

Day Six Tally: 4 catches (as of naptime), 0 misses

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I hope this hasn't been TMI. I'm sure it's extremely fascinating.... just like watching a train wreck is extremely fascinating. Just kidding... potty training is hard but much more positive and rewarding in the end. It is very neat to see your child grow and conquer something as monumental as this. I'm sure it will be amazing to look back a few months from now and be like, "Hey, remember when we were potty training Caleb and I thought I was going to die? Or at least eat a whole package of Oreos in one sitting? Yeah, it was bad, ha ha..."


I'm going to wrap up here so I can actually publish something. Stay tuned for more escapades!

{12 in 13} April's Challenge

This Month

For the month of April, I am going to read the Bible every day and pray every day, in some format.

Yesterday (Day One!) I picked the book of Matthew because it has 28 chapters, which will get me most of the way through the month at one chapter a day, and because I want to saturate my heart and mind with the life of Jesus. So far, so good-- I read chapter one yesterday, and chapter two today. :)

I haven't figured out how to do the prayer aspect-- other than, "Help!! How do I persevere through this potty training business?!" (Post on that soon...) I think I will use my 31 Days of  Praise book by Ruth Myers, which hasmy  Scripture-based prayers focused on a different topic for each day. Here's an excerpt from Day Two:

Thank you, Father, that You so loved the world that You gave Your one and only Son, our Lord Jesus Christ... that when the time had fully come, He wrapped Himself in human form, being born as a helpless baby in a poor family. Thank You that He walked here on earth radiating the brightness of Your glory and flawlessly expressing Your nature... and so, through Him, people saw You in action, involved with them, available to meet their needs. Thank You that He focused Your almighty power into the lives of common people with deep needs, just like me... that He preached the gospel to the poor, proclaimed freedom to prisoners of sin and recovery of sight to the blind, and set free the oppressed victims of sin and Satan-- the downtrodden, the lost, the hurting, the broken. Thank You for the way He rebuked the arrogant and looked with favor on the humble-minded, opening wide the door of His kingdom to those who were destitute and helpless in spirit. I delight in Your tender mercies, O my God, by which the Sunrise from on high has come to us!

John 3:16; Gal. 4:4; Heb. 1:3; Luke 4:18-19; Matt. 3:5; Luke 1:78.

I am looking forward to developing some discipline, even if it's little baby steps.

Year in Review

Here's a recap of my goals so far (because I constantly measure myself and like to look back often):

January: potty train Caleb -- in progress
February: love deliveries -- done!
March: start a garden -- postponed until potty training is further along
April: read the Bible and pray every day for 30 days -- in progress

Still to come...

May: complete the Bull Canyon Run 5k
June: try a fast from refined sugar (either for one week or one month)
July: sew, sew, sew/ develop inventory for future Etsy store

I have been running, sporadically, for the last six weeks or so. I want to get more in a regular habit of going  out for a run immediately after Sean gets home from work, a few days a week. He is totally on board, I just need to prep dinner beforehand and get in the mindset of going and not getting distracted with something else... and not rationalize away my motivation.

Stay tuned! Lots happening around here these days.

{12 in 13} March

Life was good. I had decided to try a simple approach to growth, goal-setting, life. I picked one big "thing" to focus on for each month of this year... Then I joined two Bible studies. And had a second child. And Sean had his wisdom teeth out in early January, which ended up including infection and two additional oral surgeries to rectify it.  We've gone to Hawaii twice, in February and March, to visit Nalani. Sean is taking classes for his master's degree in apologetics-- not easy classes, and his only opportunity to work on them is in the evenings/weekends. In addition to having a new baby, we have a two-year-old whose language of love is quality time.

It's been a busy year so far.

January's goal, potty train Caleb, is staring me in the face.
February's goal, share love, was a smashing success.
March's goal, start a garden, is still waiting to become reality.

I am realizing I never thought through what I would do if I didn't meet my goal in a given month. Keep it on the plate and try to do two "big things" at once the following month? Discard it and move on? Keep it on the back burner in case I finished another month's goal early, and only attempt it in that case, so I'm still doing one "big thing" at a time? In Caleb's situation, ignoring it is not an option. :)

I'll admit I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I was doing great with the tempo of my schedule until we went to Hawaii last week (16-23 Mar). I was even getting all my homework done for both Bible studies! But now I am thinking something has to go. Probably the first, best option would be to slash Facebook/online time. I have the nasty habit of "rewarding" myself with some veg time during Caleb's nap, because "I've earned a break." The "just checking my email" usually turns into 1-2 hours of FB and online browsing, following links to articles that are often useful, but become time-wasters when I have not earmarked that time to read online articles. Or I'll get lost in researching a debate, whether it's the safety of prenatal ultrasounds, or the evils of refined sugar, you name it. There is so much "information" out there, much of it conflicting, it's hard to know what the "right" answer is.

A second way I could recapture some time is to get up earlier. That has also been a particular challenge since we returned, with jet lag hindering my attempts to get up at a reasonable time. Not that I was very disciplined before our trip. I honestly don't know how to change. My willpower is not exactly stellar when half-asleep and my body's in the habit of wanting more sleep.

A third option, concurrent with the others, is to prayerfully consider (again) what God would have my priorities be. I want to regain that clarity and purposefulness in my daily life, instead of seeing everything in front of me, all the time, and feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I want to focus on one thing at a time, even one task at a time, and enjoy the time I do have. Especially time with the kids. Instead of seeing them as an obstacle to productivity, I want to see them as a gift I have the responsibility to steward well, for the Lord. I'm training and shaping precious human beings' character, all day long, under the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. What a high responsibility.

All that being said.... today was Day One of earnestly working on potty skills with Caleb. After a few hours of hanging out in the bathroom half-naked, he has peed in the potty once. And on the floor three times, in far greater quantity than what made it into the potty. :) But still. I think it's progress. The other day he said he wanted to learn to be potty trained and not use diapers. That is progress. He has been resisting even conversation about it until recently.

For a couple hours I had tried the "sit on the potty every 30 minutes" technique which didn't seem to be very effective. We're going to try the technique of 10 minutes on the potty, five-minute break... for a few hours at least, maybe a couple days running. I only did that once this morning (10 mins. on), and that is when he peed a little bit into the potty. A few minutes later he peed a LOT on the floor, but that's okay. The process has begun. Thankfully, he is an exceptional toddler who will sit and read books with someone for a long time. He has a really good attention span. I am also thankful for tile floors in much of the house!

How do you manage your priorities? What specific techniques do you employ to remind yourself of them?

Until next time...
M

Caleb's Corner (Jan-Feb)

Chloe gets a lot of attention these days... but Caleb is such a joy!!! I want to enjoy him (and blog about him!). He says the greatest, funniest things! Almost daily I think, "I need to write that down," but rarely manage to. Here are a couple examples of cute and/or funny things.

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A few weeks ago we purchased the classic Disney movie Lady and the Tramp. We've watched it with Caleb twice now, and I've seen a couple effects.... 1) During pre-meal prayertime, he asks for "proteck from bad doggies" (and from "bad monkeys," which is related to on of Sean's coworkers scaring Caleb with a gorilla mask a few months ago). 2) He likes to role-play a lot, and has started issuing instructions when we are playing together. One day recently, it was, "You be Butch, Daddy. I'm Lady." He proceeded to refer to Daddy as Butch (the Tramp) throughout dinner, which was hilarious to me. "Thank you, Butch."  "I all done, Butch. Get down, please, Butch?"

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Yesterday, Caleb and his daddy were tossing a soccer ball back and forth while I was sitting nearby. After Caleb threw it, he looked over and said, "Mommy, clap!" (Only it sounded like, "Mommy, cwap!" and I wasn't sure at first if he had said "crap" or "clap.") He knows what he wants, I guess... We are working on learning to not demand things of others...

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Caleb tripped and landed on his bottom. He asked, "Mommy put bandaid on Caleb's bottom?" I had to chuckle.

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"Kwo-wee two old months," instead of "Chloe is two months old."

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And now, some pictures, because pictures are just awesome. :)

chalk time with Daddy... Caleb's quite the artist ;)

at Santa Barbara Zoo-- it was a beautiful (bright) day in January

with our buddy "Cam-wun" (Cameron)

hanging out in the back yard one day... he really wanted to wear that hat

checking out the bbq

he loves hugging and kissing, and even sharing with, his sister Chloe!

our beautiful boy

I'm starting to understand it when people say their kids are growing up way too fast. My kids are growing up way too fast!!! :) I'm loving each new stage, and getting to watch him mature a little more every day. It's incredible. A little scary, too, to teach him now to navigate the world. It feels weighty because we are entrusted with such responsibility to train and instruct and guide Him toward God, though only God can save him. He's learning so much from us, whether intentional or incidental--the whole "caught" vs. "taught" concept. Our kids will pick up what we really believe by how we live, and they will notice whether our actions match what we say we believe. God is refining us all through this process, and I'm so glad He's given us the kids He has, all three of them. :)